Need help and advice!?!

Hi, I am a mother of an 18 Yr old. I am stuck at a point I do not know which direction to go. My daughter has ongoing mental health issues. In reality she has always had issues but some of them we have only realised they were not 'normal until now. I'm sorry its a long post but thought if I give a big overview someone might be able to help. Currently my 18 yr old daughter is on a university interruption. Her doctor stated she has mixed anxiety and depressive disorder. She was referred due to us suspecting she had borderline personality disorder. We have known for awhile that something more is going on but don't know enough about what exactly that is. She was referred as a lot of the symptoms 'fit's and even the doctor did a long questionnaire with her and scored highly enough that he was more than happy to refer her but after a 30 minute online phone consultation was told she didn't think she had it and was told she would be referred back to the doctor for higher medication and to be referred to an emotional feelings group (my daughter couldn't remember the name). Now I'm beginning to wonder if it's actually high functioning autism. We have spent years with issues all through school, eventually ending in CAHMS at 16/17 which unfortunately was too late as they just did art therapy with her because apparently it would take too long to build a relationship with a psychiatrist to get anywhere with her (I had stated that the problem would be initially she would pick up on what they wanted to hear before finally opening up herself to them) and they finally decided she didn't know who she was and was gender fluid and wanted to be known by a different name and that she may have anxiety. So basically got nowhere. I truly feel like my daughter has Bern sidelined at every curve. I am a mum to two children and stepmum to a further 2. I know it is not normal to play as a child by lining up your toys. There was no actual play in a dolls house,  she just spent the entire time taking people/furniture out and lining it up and then moving the entire line along one once putting one thing in from the line. She also cannot handle physical contact. I have a very cuddly young child but yet my 18yr old will physically push her younger sister back so she doesn't cuddle her and if you do manage to get her she is literally like an ironing board. She will literally freeze and go stiff. She can not make any type of relationships, she just doesn't know how to interact with people? I am really struggling to cope with knowing what to do and who to go to as she really struggles to even talk on the phone to people. I need help (as my youngest also has her own issues starting to show but she is the opposite, really cuddly, constantly on the go, can't cope unless she gets out what she wants to say, cannot under any circumstances wear socks/tights on the carpet, developed a strange speech impediment etc?). Another thing to note is she doesn't seem to know emotions ad such if that makes sense. Any advice is greatly received 

Parents
  • I know exactly what your daughter is going through as I have had multiple negative experiences with CAMHS. Before I had eventually gotten my autism diagnosis at age 22 I was diagnosed with every mental health disorder they could think of and prescribed some very inappropriate medication that made both symptoms and behaviours of autism and ADHD worse. 
    I started at sixteen to get an autism diagnosis and it took six years before I was actually assessed for autism. I eventually request if it was possible to be assessed by an organisation outside of Cambs and found out that their was an adult autism service near by. CAMHS made every effort not to diagnosis me with autism. Mainly because the mental health nurses and other professionals lack of understanding of autism and ADHD so I would in-fact ask for a second opinion and see if there is another organisation who can assess your daughter.

    If she is struggling and needs some sort of support you can request a needs assessment by your local authority which can provide a support worker and sign post to organisations which can and help your daughter Pursue a diagnosis as well as argue your case for support at universities despite not having a formal diagnosis as evidence of autism. 

  • Hi, just wanted to give a quick update after all these months since writing this my daughter had her assessment yesterday and with 100% certainty, his words, she has been diagnosed. Can't fault the specialist, he only spoke to me as a formality and said with 26yrs experience, even without the multiple questionnaires we filled in, just by speaking to/observing her he had no doubt. He apologised that she had been failed by everyone for all these years but finally she can get help. I'm sorry that you and anyone else has had to go through so much before actually getting the answer.

  • Yes it's a pity so many people have to go through hell before they get diagnosed.

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