Diagnosis; a useful step, or a way for society to label us?

Hats off for sticking with it, that's quite the achievement.

Thanks for the responses guys. After a lot of reflection on what to do, in the end, I decided to pull out of the assessment. I think I am suffering from depression after 4 months with a newborn in a 9 month stretch of lockdowns during covid, that have really taken their toll on my already struggling mental health.

So I just didn't feel that being assigned a label, for traits that I already know place me on a certain category, would be helpful atm. I could sense a real identity struggle that was keeping me awake most nights, and so ive approached getting some therapy whilst continuing on as a whatever level of undiagnosed spectrum type I might be, with the knowledge that I will probably cross this bridge again in a few years when my new baby boy begins attempting to navigate the nightmare of school, if traits start to appear in him then I'll know which direction to go.

For now I'm mostly contented by the idea of not labelling myself, this at least in part makes me feel more normal (whatever that means). I think those diagnosed run the risk of being margainalised by society which I think is wrong, so sort of feel the diagnosis exists to help Joe Public, not those of us suffering the effects of those societal differences perhaps.

I know that sentiment will be unpopular, but it's how I honestly feel. When only 14% of those on the spectrum are employed then I think this says it all.

For now being who we are should be enough in may ways. When that is not accepted I think it's societies problem not ours.

Ijust hope thats enough

Yep, with home working there is that thing about taking a bit more care. I'm terrible for getting lost in my work and not stepping away, getting some fresh air or walking round the block just to give my eyes a rest and some movement in the rest of my body. I'm booking an hour out for lunch just so I can lose myself in prepping a meal and re-orientating away from a screen back to the real world.

Congrats on becoming a dad by the way 

a lot of good points here, and i can pretty much relate to most, if not all. 

i'll add --- getting the diagnosis, guess what, you can be left in the lurch. such as: "yes, we've determined you have asd. goodbye and good luck. so nice knowing you"

that's where i was. i had to scratch and claw through various therapists - but w the diagnosis, they had to change their approaches, even if only a little.  very different therapy for aspergers (yeah, i loosely use the terms asd and aspergers).  but it was still hard, until i got therapists who really deal with aspergers. then ----------- a couple of things slowly slowly starting to make a tiny bit of sense. and then my therapist brought up sensitivities, protecting oneself from sensitivites, discovering how they affect you, how you've become inured to them, even as they beat you up every single d*mn day. 

additionally, the diagnosis for me opened up all these other cans of worms: learning disabilities, twice exceptional, every sensitivity known to man kind...............  and am looking into auditory processing and visual processing issues, plus somatic processing issues.  a positive aspect is now i have some people in my corner, specialists, resources.

without the diagnosis, i suspect people may struggle identifying various issues that may affect them a lot, yet are unknown to them.

Well, I got diagnosed for myself not others, I feel much better knowing I'm ASD than I ever did when I just suspected it. You can tell the world or keep it to yourself, that's your choice. I've told nobody and am happy with that. Would they understand or would they start labelling me? I suspect the latter. Oh, hang on, I think they've been labelling me for years anyway, so maybe nothing would change. I'm confident that I will never regret getting assessed. As I said in my opening line - I got diagnosed for myself.

Ben

Thanks for the input guys. Sounds like it hasnt really been good or bad, just another perspective on troubles you were already dealing with? Im sorry you too are struggling with these things. I'm glad home working has been good for you, I think this will be true of many now they are more able to choose where they work.

Ive been happy with the shift to home working, but the overwhelm in tech applications now has become a new strain on my senses. Stairing at a screen without a screen break (because I dont need to attend meetings or similar) 35hrs a week means by the end of the day/week it takes me about a day of feeling like I'm in a ball of cottonwool before I can start thinking straight again.

Ive just become a Dad for the first time, so that is ultimately what is kinda forcing me to stay with the idea of the assessement. If I can stop him struggling through life in any way possible like I had to then I'd be doing the best by him.

Just can't decide. Feel like, if I do it, then I'm finally accepting what ive thought for years, that I am different. But Ive always enjoyed this perspective out of choice, now it seems it might be that it actually wasnt ever a choice. That subtle difference has got me in knots about my identity

I had my diagnosis because I was feeling lousy and the general anti-depressant stuff wasn't working. Now I understand that I process things differently it's brought a lot of my life into focus - and allowed me to connect through shared experiences with others on the spectrum,

I disclosed to my employer - just to make sure I had reasonable adjustments in place and wouldn't be messed around. I also told colleagues I work with because there will be occasions I need to step back from meetings and discussions because of overload. It's odd because I'm not masking as much any more - but then working from home I can relax a bit. I'm now a bit of an advocate as the (rather large) organisation I work for has dedicated resources on diversity - everything except neurodiversity. I'm working to change that.  

Society will always find something to discriminate against - but it can start to move in the right direction. I've seen a huge change in mental health over the last 30 years from never-mention-it to lets-have-huge-campaigns-to-get-talking-about-it. Conversations are not just about not being well, it's about being well and staying well.

Looking at the autism spectrum and other conditions, the term "neurodiverse" is a positive change in language (I recognise that it is controversial term in some circles as it depends on how much it impacts the individual with day to day living). I'm in a bind sometimes with my diagnosis - it limits parts of my life in some ways (social) but in others not at all (projects, research, fact-finding, living alone). Is my autism a disability? Well it can impair my life in certain situations - but then so can my fear of heights. The things I *need* to do are a bit annoying, but then so is making sure I eat my 5 a day and take regular exercise. If anything I'm a bit more self-aware about how important it is to take care of myself. 

Honestly, if you go for your assessment and you get diagnosed - it's up to you whom you tell. Take it one step at a time - the reasons you made the decision to go for the assessment in the first place is the thing to focus on. If you decide to see it through and get the result, then's the time to decide what to do with that information

I got diagnosed because of treatment-resistant depression and anxiety too. Sometimes I think before my diagnosis I thought I was broke, now I know I am. Many others seem to be relieved

The thought is that if I know I think differently surely this will help battle my mental health, maybe I can source additional help

Sorry, too soon for me to say if it is going to help and therefore I cannot advice with any certainty, however I have no inclination to tell society or employers as if I can manage then why do they need to know. I will be advising open university as I can see the benefits, but to be fair they would help based on just my mental health.

...Anxiety, depression and feeling isolated motivated me initially, still do actually, but surely a label could make these things worse no?

Confused