Desperate

I am a mother of a 20 year old son who is currently having a diagnostic assessment for aspergers syndrome.  

For his entire teenage years he has treated me with contempt.  He blames me for everything that goes wrong and everything he fails at is my fault.  He tells me that no body likes me and that I am a f*****g moron but I am always the person he comes to when he needs something.

His total communication with me is based soley on his needs e.g I need money, I need new clothes, I want this food cooked in this way etc.

I have been stuggling for years to get him to agree to this assessment and his school turned against me when I suggested this may be the cause for his problems with socialising, organisation, eye contact etc. 

The more I read about aspergers the more things I noticed from childhood and it explained why he did so well academically at primary school but then progessively achieved less at secondary school.

He denies he has any problems at all but has failed at further education twice due to his problems and now just stays awake all night, sleeps half the day and the rest of the time plays computer games or follows his other obsessive hobby.

My confidence and self esteem are now so low that I think no one believes what I am saying and I feel that it is all my fault but I don't understand what I have done wrong. I have always tried to do the very best I can as a parent.

I am so desperate as things just keep getting worse.  I do believe that he now has an underlying mental health problem. The diagnostic process takes so long and I am so worried that something really bad will happen or he will refuse to continue the process.

Can anyone re assure me?  Am I reasonable to suspect aspergers?  The first psychiatric nurses that came said he was a classic case of aspergers, but when will someone help us?

Parents
  • Thank you for the comments. 

    As Scorpion0x17 and the Imp of the Peverse point out, it is obvious that my son is under enormous pressure and clearly has a problem of some nature.  Since he exhibits enough traits to lead an aspergers specialist to believe this is the problem we will continue with the diagnostic process.  You can see and feel the stress in him and how difficult he finds the world.  People say that you only hurt the ones you love and contrary to Easy's beliefs I beleive this is the case.  I have read extensivey on the subject of aspergers over the years and have heard of problems similar to mine from other parents.  No, it is not right but it is understandable and luckily for him he has a loving family who will try and help him through it.

    Easy I have found your comments both rude and very hurtful and the last thing I expected from a post on this site. 

Reply
  • Thank you for the comments. 

    As Scorpion0x17 and the Imp of the Peverse point out, it is obvious that my son is under enormous pressure and clearly has a problem of some nature.  Since he exhibits enough traits to lead an aspergers specialist to believe this is the problem we will continue with the diagnostic process.  You can see and feel the stress in him and how difficult he finds the world.  People say that you only hurt the ones you love and contrary to Easy's beliefs I beleive this is the case.  I have read extensivey on the subject of aspergers over the years and have heard of problems similar to mine from other parents.  No, it is not right but it is understandable and luckily for him he has a loving family who will try and help him through it.

    Easy I have found your comments both rude and very hurtful and the last thing I expected from a post on this site. 

Children
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