Desperate

Just to underline both of the above comments...especially Azalea's...I know someone just like your father and in an exactly similar situation. Honestly someone should do a study of this particular situation.

As for your situation greenlady, your son sounds EXACTLY like my elder brother who terrorized our family for years. He was never diagnosed but his developmental history is much more indicative of Aspergers than mine and it's actually me that's going through the diagnosis process at the moment. My Mum was a bit of a saint, perhaps a bit too passive, but when her husband (my Dad) fell ill in his early forties, she cared for him for the last few years of his life 24-7. Yet that didn't stop my brother's shocking behaviour. However he's gone on to become a very successful accountant with three really beautiful kids. What bugs me is that he bullied me to death during my early years until about the age of 14 and this definitely affected my interaction with the world. I don't know if you have younger children but maybe you should be sure to protect them even if your son does have Asperger's and so has an 'excuse' for his behaviour. Do not believe the accusations your son is throwing your way. He must be under enormous pressure trying to make sense of the world and seems to have decided to retreat from it in order to cope.

At least you have the opinion of the psychiatric nurses..that is your first small victory. Somehow your son needs to get to understand that his pressures are shared by others and others of his own age. Has he got a community of interest with anyone at all or is he quite isolated? If it's the latter, we need to find him some outlet that gets him amongst people who will accept both him and hopefully his bolshiness on some level. As for yourself, stick with THIS community to keep yourself sane or find a local group if possible so you don't feel alone. Navigate this website to find local help. Perhaps one day all of this will seem quite ghostly and your son will have regained his focus that he had at primary school and then gone on to do something he likes. Never lose hope. Be persistent with the diagnosis process. Stay on this forum. 

Just to underline both of the above comments...especially Azalea's...I know someone just like your father and in an exactly similar situation. Honestly someone should do a study of this particular situation.

As for your situation greenlady, your son sounds EXACTLY like my elder brother who terrorized our family for years. He was never diagnosed but his developmental history is much more indicative of Aspergers than mine and it's actually me that's going through the diagnosis process at the moment. My Mum was a bit of a saint, perhaps a bit too passive, but when her husband (my Dad) fell ill in his early forties, she cared for him for the last few years of his life 24-7. Yet that didn't stop my brother's shocking behaviour. However he's gone on to become a very successful accountant with three really beautiful kids. What bugs me is that he bullied me to death during my early years until about the age of 14 and this definitely affected my interaction with the world. I don't know if you have younger children but maybe you should be sure to protect them even if your son does have Asperger's and so has an 'excuse' for his behaviour. Do not believe the accusations your son is throwing your way. He must be under enormous pressure trying to make sense of the world and seems to have decided to retreat from it in order to cope.

At least you have the opinion of the psychiatric nurses..that is your first small victory. Somehow your son needs to get to understand that his pressures are shared by others and others of his own age. Has he got a community of interest with anyone at all or is he quite isolated? If it's the latter, we need to find him some outlet that gets him amongst people who will accept both him and hopefully his bolshiness on some level. As for yourself, stick with THIS community to keep yourself sane or find a local group if possible so you don't feel alone. Navigate this website to find local help. Perhaps one day all of this will seem quite ghostly and your son will have regained his focus that he had at primary school and then gone on to do something he likes. Never lose hope. Be persistent with the diagnosis process. Stay on this forum.