So, when I play fifa or similar people always comment that I don't blink. When I'm playing I'm extremely focused on winning. I never start with the default players, I always tinker with something.
I've been told when I was 7 or 8 I would play mario kart and sit and stare at the screen and tug on the neckline of my tshirt or jumper.
I do have an issue with working memory dyslexia that I remember the 'jist' of conversations but often struggle to later recall specific details. I often read emails I've sent maybe 2 or 3 days later and I don't remember sending it at all (I have a very reactive job with a lot going on so this could be a factor)
If I read a page of a book too fast I need to go back and read it again as the info hasn't gone in. But I can read complex data and understand and action it.
When the dyslexia was diagnosed at 18 I was told I have a high IQ for that age group and that's probably how I'd went undiagnosed until then.
I feel like I think better on my feet, as a problem solver. Show me an issue and constraints (rules/circumstances) and I'll give you a solution or a temporary workaround very quickly.
I give out good life/career advice but then look back at things I've done and think what the F was that?!
I have good spacial awareness when driving but then can look at things on a supermarket shelf and if it was on the floor I would think it wouldn't fit (I'm not explaining this part very well)
I tend not to react overly with emotion during tense or potentially dangerous situations. But I do feel the fight or flight adrenaline responses. I have a sort of lets get on with it attitude, we will be fine, we will figure it out as we go along.
I generally write and spell well, with decent grammar but when handwriting my brain tries to write 'withe' instead of 'with the'. I used to only notice this when reading back. Although since I realised I do this I usually concentrate on writing the 2 seperate words.
My handwriting is also terrible, like a childs. My brain wants to write capitals a lot and I have to really focus not to. My signature could be different on 5 different documents. I know it's weird but it's like I can't remember how I did it before. For things like driving licence I sort of default to just my name spelled out all in caps with a bigger capital at the start rather than what most people would consider a 'signature'
I'm considered funny but it's reactive funny. Commentary. Sarcasm. I rarely remember any jokes. If I do try to tell a traditional joke I get caught up in detail and say it wrong.
Strangely though I remember funny stories and can retell them. On occasion I go into too much detail for the story. It's almost like setting the scene. Something is funny because one of the people there had this other funny situation 2 years previously. It's not a choice I make.. I'm just telling the story.
I find taboo comedians funny, but not the taboo subject in real life. I struggle with this paradox.
My gf is convinced I'm autistic (she works with high school aged kids both autistic and non-autistic) as when we argue she's all about the emotion and I'm just wanting to break her argument down into segments and then 'disprove' each point with logic.
It's not that I don't understand her POV at least most of the time, but it's like it doesn't make sense to me. I can appreciate how someone else feels but then I can't see how they can feel that way when you look at the situation logically.
I don't usually hold grudges but I'll argue a logical point for hours. I can be outrageously stubborn. I've been accused of being arrogant but I don't feel arrogant, it's hard to explain. If I'm right about something then I'm right, not sure how that's arrogant. I don't think I'm better than anyone. And when I am wrong I admit it on reflection and adapt the new info into my thinking going forward. The exception to this is I will rarely admit I was wrong to my closest pals and will instead try to fudge the argument so that we're both right. I'm not sure why/how I do this it just happens. To be fair that's mostly where the arrogance claims come from.
In work I use outlook and spreadsheets to track tasks and this is for the most part sufficient but occasionally I'll just completely forget I'm supposed to have done something.
In my personal life I start and don't finish things often. 2 chapters of a textbook. Screenplay started, never finished. Start making plans for events or holidays and then just don't action it. Loads of other things like this that I'm now struggling to remember (surprise surprise).
Recently I've been quite apathetic. Could wake up at 7am and sit and play with my phone rather than getting up. I know I should get up. I watch the clock tick down but I don't. I'm also likely to stay up late even if I know I'm up early the next day. I can't really explain why I do this. But I'm very aware of it.
I always read longer emails 2 or 3 times to make sure I've not got any random words in there. I'll probably read this a few times before I hit post*
*I did and I wrote 'read this a fee timed' first time around. It's like my brain knows I'm near the end of typing so starts to shut off or move onto the next thing
Anyway. Guidance online isn't clear. Thought this might be a good place to ask. Happy to answer any questions if that would help someone advise me if I'm showing signs that they recognise?
This post has been longer than originally intended so thank you if you made it to the end.
P.S. I apologise if any terminology I've used might be considered offensive to someone with autism, I'm just trying to describe my situation in terminology I understand.
