I met up with one of my friends today. I really enjoyed it and am just reflecting on it all. One thing I am naturally terrible at - and what I am dwelling on is how we said ‘goodbye’ at the end.The last time I met this friend (about a year ago) she said ‘see you later’ to me on parting. Today, we were on the tube and talking right to the very end before she had to get off at her stop. As the train pulled in to her stop, I initiated a cuddle with her (she initiated one with me when we met). She said something along the lines of it was good to have met and good luck with my masters and dissertation (which I am currently working on) and wished me a good Christmas.The words that ring in my ears though were her final words to me ‘see you, bye’. She then left the tube very quickly and didn’t stay on the platform to wave as the train left with me on it.Is ‘see you, bye’ a suggestion that she doesn’t want to see me again? Last year when we parted she said ‘see you later’ to me. This meant that I had the confidence to reach out and message her and arrange today because she said that. Ending today on ‘See you, bye’ means that I will be much less likely to be as confident in the future to reach out to her again. We spent six hours together today and I really enjoyed it. Do you think that ending it in this way has shut the door on me contacting her again (maybe in a year or so) to arrange another catch up?
I sent the following message to her shortly after she left and I was about to board the train home:‘Hi [friend’s name], great to see you today! I really enjoyed catching up with you - hope you enjoyed it to. I hope you have a great Christmas! ’I got the following reply (pretty instantly) ‘Thanks hope you have a great christmas too!’Does this suggest that she still wants to meet again one day?
Please can I have some perspectives on this? The anxiety surrounding it is tearing me apart!
It sounds to me like a throw away remark that may people use. It doesn't sound like someone saying goodbye. The final text is upbeat and friendly. Spending 6 hours together is quite intense and tiring I would imagine, so I wouldn't expect a long text in reply. It sounds like you have an arrangement where you meet up now and again. Most people don't arrange the next meeting and the end of a meeting. How long have you know each other?
We’ve known each other for about 6 years from university. What do you think she was saying ‘thanks’ for in the text? Do you think that the door is still open to meet again in the future?
I think she was saying thanks for your positive feelings about the day & saying that you enjoyed her company. There's nothing I can see that suggests that anything is wrong. What you are picking up on could be anything from her tiredness, she's preoccupied with thoughts about something else, or is busy, or lots of other things.
Most people *really* don't think much about the precise words they use, especially when it's almost an instant reply.
I would say try not to worry,,,,,,,,,,,
Do you think that she was just thanking me for wishing her a happy Christmas and ignored my part about saying that I enjoyed it?
I agree with I'm done with Christmas Cards. I think it was a general thank you for saying you enjoyed the day and for wishing her a happy christmas. Tiredness and other daily stuff takes over. Texts are very concise and therefore lend themselves to different interpretations. The facts are: you've been friends for 6 years and have just spent a great day in each others company. It's likely that after a period of time when you have both done other things and have things to talk about, that one of you will meet up again.
I don't think you should worry, try to think about how much you enjoyed it.
i think the "thanks" probably covers everything you said. There's a time and a place for precise language, but chatter over texts is usually imprecise and free-flowing, so not amenable to analysis. Bear in mind I'm ASD too though :-).
You *could* text your friend and say something like "Hey, I really enjoyed our time together the other day and noticed that your texts afterwords were quite short, are you OK? Just hoping you're not stressed and busy........"
When people want to say 'goodbye,' they will use the full formal 'goodbye,' rather than an informal 'bye.'
English can be confusing as goodbye greetings in most other languages do literally mean 'until we see each other again.' Bad luck English isn't like that.
Someone once used that formal goodbye greeting again when they sent me a nice little letter of the 'I don't ever want to see you again' stripe.
You have nothing to worry about here.