My partner and I moved in at the same time as next door moved into their house. When they first moved in, I felt the lady in particular was trying too hard to be my best friend right away. I don't work like that. It takes me ages to decide if someone is a friend and that's because I want them to be not because it's forced upon me. She talks A LOT and is hard to get away from. She also is a know it all which i find incredibly difficult. Anyway, 18 months later we all get on (not bezzie mates though), and I'm really grateful to have GOOD respectful neighbours as I know you can't choose them. She's at home all day with her baby. I understand she gets bored but that's not my fault. It's just, she often asks me in for a brew if i see her. I've done it a few times to keep things ticking over, not cos I wanted to, but end up staying far too long. It's like I'm trapped.
I went round the other day to get a parcel after work. I was shattered, it was my first week back in work for almost 3 months. She even said how tired I looked. She asked me several times to stay for tea but I politely declined. I was still there over half an hour. She said several times near the end "we should have had that cup of tea after all. I'll ask you next time and you'll say yes and you'll stay even if you only drink half". (She is foreign so it wasn't as forceful as it sounds, it's how she uses English language). It doesn't matter what I say I can't get away.
There's just no concept of bending to other people's needs or saying "hello, here's your parcel, goodbye". How do I manage these situations?? I'm a very passive person and slowly learning to be more assertive but when I'm caught off guard or really tired and have less brain power I don't know how to manage it.
I'd politely but factually decline the invitation, you might want to start with.
"Maybe next time (in regards to the tea). It's been my first day back at work in three months so I'm shattered and really must go and get some rest"
Then turn around and walk out of her house.
I'd be more likely to say ...
It's been my first day back at work in three months so I'm shattered. Work tends to tire me out so unfortunately, I'm not going to be as sociable as I used to be. Thank you for picking up my parcel though, I'm really glad we can help each other out from time to time with things like this and I hope you have a good night.
Then I'd leave.
That sounds a lot easier than it would be! Haha. When I've made excuse before it gets blatantly ignored even though it's been heard. Because she always knows best it'd be a "oh well it's ok we can sit on the comfy sofas in the living room then you can rest". She actually has an answer for everything!
Thanks for your advice though, next time I need to pick something up I will prepare myself!