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Guides for family of older adult on AS?

Breadpud

Howdy all,

I've checked keywords and searched around and checked NAS publications, I found a thread sort of what I'm asking from a few years ago, but I think I'm not going to find information. Here we go:

I'm 50+ recent diagnosis (do I need to keep stating that!!)

I'm a little surprised my family haven't started looking into any ASD material since my diagnosis last month. I'd like to help them along a little please (tut!). Are there any printed guides aimed at families of diagnosed older adults? You know, perhaps an informal introduction covering a broad spectrum?

  • in reply to Original Prankster

    Hello Original, thanks for that. I hadn't thought about expressing it in other ways. I'll have a think about that. Yes, in fact its all a bit too much at the moment. I had got in contact with a local support group recently, but I'm just not a clubby person. I need to give that some time I think too before going to it.

  • in reply to Original Prankster

    Loving the allergy analogy - I'll use that one Slight smile

  • So... what said as a starting point:

    "Oh, so you've been diagnosed as autistic? You'll be able to start getting better now then..."

    "How's the autism treatment going?"

    "You've been seeing that psychologist for ages but you don't seem to be getting better"

    "You can't use autism as an excuse for your bad behaviour!"

    Etc.

    Essentially, they'll see this as 'your' problem and something 'you' need to fix.

    And that's the crux of the problem.

    Try to find a way to explain it so that they understand why they need to engage - if you had diabetes they'd want to understand how to help you stick to a low-sugar diet plus what to do if you had a 'hypo'.

    If it was found that you had a severe allergy to nuts, they'd expect to have to start making your environment nut-free, plus know what to do if you went into anaphylactic shock.

    I think framing autism as a health issue not a mental health issue can help sometimes.

    Trigger issues like noise = nuts or high-sugar foods

    shutdown/meltdown = low sugar/hypo or mild nut reaction/full anaphylactic shock

    If you can articulate just how hard you try all the time to 'fit in' and overcome the noise/smells/lights/confusion/etc. that might help - if you can't say it, write it, if that's not your medium for communication then draw, paint, sing, rap it... write it as poetry, make a collage - whatever works for you.

    My wife struggled initially but has been to a couple of support meetings for the "carer's" of autistic adults and the name is misleading - there are partners/spouses too.

    Search for something similar locally maybe?

    Good luck!

    Oh, final word - your autie/aspie desire to know everything will have probably kicked-in, making this your new 'special interest'... don't forget, that's not how enties work!

  • in reply to Breadpud

    Thank you Slight smile This could be really useful once I've gone through diagnosis.

  • in reply to Plastic

    Ok Plastic, I'll take that on board. Will continue and put myself first. Yup, I guess I haven't given enough time for anything yet really

  • The problem is, to them, nothing has happened - you're still exactly the same person you've always been - the diagnosis is significant to you - maybe a huge revelation - but in their world, nothing has happened.    Why would they suddenly be interested in reading all sorts of stuff that means nothing to them?

    I think you're going to have to choose your timings carefully and do all the educating yourself if they seem receptive.    You will need to understand yourself fully and how the diagnosis really affects you before you can be successful in this.

    So chill - let it all sink in for yourself - educate yourself and find yourself - and then spread the word.  Smiley

  • You might find some useful resources on these pages (sorry if you've already come across them in your search): https://www.autism.org.uk/about/family-life.aspx

    Hope this helps :)