Feeling frequently interrupted

Ok so this is very much a case of wanting to get something off my chest and to see if this is at all relatable for others especially as I am yet to get an official diagnosis (I am on the waiting list) 

I frequently find myself feeling disturbed and interrupted not just by other people but also sensory stimulation such as noise and smells. I sometimes like to zone out a little, maybe even imagine scenarios or conversations in my head. In short I enjoy daydreaming. I have always felt like doing so allows me to have my own perspective on the world around me. 

The problem of course is that life in general doesn't always allow it. If I am walking down the road in my own bubble and so much as a car comes past, or someone wearing perfume my train of thought can be completely ruined and I feel like I have to start again. 

How does one find a way to live like this? 

Parents
  • Hi - I'm also on the waiting list.

    I definitely relate to this. I used to imagine scenarios so much that I'd create incredibly elaborate stories in my head; I think it was a kind of coping mechanism for the challenges I was facing at the time. I did end up reaching a point where I was missing out on real-life conversations because all I wanted was to get back to my daydreaming.

    Noises and smells can be a real problem too. Some days, I'm fine; other days, the sensory stimulation is overpowering and everything seems too loud/smelly/bright. 

    Have you tried listening to music or podcasts? That sometimes gives me something to occupy my mind while I'm walking around (as well as helping with noise sensitivity), without me getting too caught-up in daydreaming (don't get me wrong - I love daydreaming and still do it, but not as much as I used to).

  • Thanks for your reply

    Wearing headphones out (the full size noise cancelling type) is almost a necessity for me now. Of course some things are so loud that they cancel out my music but yes for the most part it's very helpful!

    I definitely relate to  what you say about missing out on real life conversations. I have become increasingly isolated from friends because I have been having all the conversations and experiences I want to have with them in my head. I'm not entirely sure if this fantasy world I've created is a symptom of ASD but I guess I could echo what you said about it being a coping strategy after all real life social interactions are often exhausting for me. 

    Having said that I have recently become aware of what a detrimental affect this isolation is having on me and so I have made a date to get myself out and see friends. Wether I will actually manage it when the time comes though remains to be seen! 

  • I have been having all the conversations and experiences I want to have with them in my head

    I'm very prone to doing this too - the kind of wish-fulfilment daydreams where people actually take an interest in what I have to say about my "weird" (to them) hobbies, and where the conversation always goes at a pace that I'm comfortable with for a change. I think it's a perfectly natural response if we usually find ourselves out of our depth in social situations, and when the things we think of to say don't result in the kind of interesting conversations that we'd prefer we could have.

    But as you say, I think it can definitely become unhealthy - it doesn't matter how many times we run the simulation in our heads, it will never make reality turn out that way; and I think that it can actually make real socialising even harder, because we're setting ourselves up for disappointment by idealising a certain way of things turning out. I used to try to write a script in my head for every situation that I could think of before meeting people - and would then panic like crazy when by the end of the first sentence, no-one was following my script any more (how dare they!)

    One thing that I've found can help is to manage people's expectations when making arrangements to go out. I used to force myself to stay out late etc. just to try and be like everyone else - and very often that would lead to me getting overwhelmed, and afterwards I'd ruminate about only the bad bit at the end when my brain was fried, and forget that there had been some better moments earlier on. These days, I make sure in advance that I have a plan for bailing out early if I need to, in a way that won't have me fretting that I'll offend anyone - it takes a lot of the pressure off to "perform" if I know that everyone's already cool with the idea that "I've a busy day tomorrow" and might only be popping out for a short while.

    I've also started to be more honest about my need to have a break every now and then to get my breath back. If I find that my brain is starting to slow down, I'll nip outside to join the smokers and vapers for a bit, or even to a toilet cubicle. I always used to be afraid to do this, but again, I've found that people are actually pretty cool with it most of the time, so long as I've said what I'm up to instead of acting like I'm doing something furtive. In fact, the main problem now, is that it turned out most NT people would like to do this far more than they like to admit, so I sometimes get a few too many people following me out for a break! I didn't really want it becoming that trendy!

  • I definitely need to take some of this advice - I need to get better at managing other people's expectations (I tend to struggle through without letting people know if I need a break). I'm going to try to be more open with people when making plans Slight smile

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  • I definitely need to take some of this advice - I need to get better at managing other people's expectations (I tend to struggle through without letting people know if I need a break). I'm going to try to be more open with people when making plans Slight smile

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