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Overwhelmed by persistent noises while trying to relax

CaliforniaDreamer95

Hello,

As I have stated in my earlier posts, I live with both of my parents. Throughout the past 8 months or so, I have felt that I am constantly being mithered from all sides. When I am not actually doing anything, they are both as quiet as a grave. When I am actually trying to do or watch something, it's almost a running commentary (Natter, natter, natter), and I cannot concentrate properly on the thing that I am doing or watching. By the end, I feel like tearing my hair out!

A fair few times, I have been very tempted to tell them to "Shut up!" (Using an expletive that I won't use on here). Also, when my Mum starts texting on her phone, it is virtually relentless (Her message tone is piercingly loud because she is hard of hearing. Also, as she is on a group chat, she ends up getting lots and lots of messages that are not even meant for her). Normally, things like this do not bother me. However the last few months it just seems to have got to me.

I'm sorry for sounding off, but this is something I have needed to get off my chest for some time.

Has anyone else been in a situation like this?

Parents

  • I can relate to this, especially when watching TV or trying to work at the office. When I watch TV especially e.g. news stories or good documentaries, I actually find myself enjoying tuning in to the emotions or gravitas of the occasion (e.g. if someone is giving a speech in parliament) and it seems to be at precisely these points where people feel the need to chatter over the TV. At work people leave the message tones on their phones on and that breaks my concentration.

    The only way I have found to deal with it where TV is concerned is to leave the room and watch the clip again on my computer, or use noise cancelling earbuds in the lounge and give up on trying to listen if it is e.g. news. If it is something I specifically want to watch, I pause the TV every time someone talks over it, & wait for them to stop before un-pausing it.

  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    Hello IDWCC,

    I have also paused shows and waited. Unfortunately, when my Mum eventually notices, she tends to get huffy. Also during some evenings, when she has a skinful, she just tends to ramble on and on and on about nothing, so I could sometimes be waiting up to 10 minutes.

Reply Children
  • in reply to CaliforniaDreamer95

    Indeed. My younger stepdaughter gets huffy when my wife and I do it. We've told her that if we pause the TV we can give our full attention to what she's saying, but from her perspective what she wants is to be able to sit with us with the TV on "in the background" and chatter. When she knows we will "make a big deal out of it and pause the TV" when she speaks, she feels that she has to remain silent, which is not the experience that she's wanting.

    I'm not sure what the answer is here because I can see both perspectives - but it's pretty clear that our respective needs (mine and step daughter's) are in conflict.