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Near impossible relaxation, frustration and anxiety because of it

CaliforniaDreamer95

I currently live with my parents. As many of you possibly know, living in a crowded house with adults can sometimes cause tension. Because of my personal current financial situation (I am currently rigorously trying to gain employment), it is impossible for me to even escape my own home town to be by myself even for just a few hours.

When I was diagnosed with Autism, the psychiatrist I saw told me to find a quiet spot when I feel anxious. Finding a quiet spot in my house is virtually impossible, my parents would probe me as to whether there is something wrong. I love both of my parents dearly, and I am grateful for all they have done for me. Normally, I don't mind being an ear to bend to their problems, even if they have a bad day, as we all have them from time to time. However, listening to their problems day after day after day, just makes me frustrated and I crave independence and a place of my own even more. 

Has anyone else felt like this?

  • They are only trying to help even though their 'help' is a bit misguided and not very helpful - and they have a need to make contact with you and to make sure you're ok.

    Is there a nearby coffee shop you can disappear to?   Even a local pub can be a place where you can find your own space and read a book or do some drawing.     Do you parents have any understanding of your autism?    Do they understand you?     Have you tried wearing a baseball cap as a sign or hanging a notice around your neck saying something like "I'm ok but a bit overloaded - please give me some space for a little while". while in your house?

    Leaving home is a big step and you will need financial help from your parents every now and then - being sensible, you're better off trying to talk to them to make home life more comfortable for as long as you can so you're better prepared to fly the nest when you actually leave.   Rushing to leave may cause you a lot more hassle in the long run.

  • I am similar in my work environment as everything makes me feel in the goldfish bowl and whatever I do is wrong.  It is the reverse to Big brother in my opinion and gets painful especially as they do not believe I am different.

    My quiet places include my home (luckily), somewhere isolated in the countryside just to unwind watching the world go by.  Another quiet place is at a music event (concert/festival) although I luckily do not have issues with crowds.

  • I did but not until after I left home, my mum is/was always a real fuss pot, I find it harder now when I spend the night with her as she talks constantly so I know how hard it can be, you could try getting on the housing list, your diagnosis would probably get you some points. 

    When I look back now I wonder how we ever ma aged it, I think now she talks a lot because she doesn't get out muchas she is quite elderly. I love her to bits but yes its hard going, I feel you pain. Good luck.