Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone.
I have felt lonely for a long time, i've tried various things to make friends, to no avail. I think the biggest problem for me is seeing that everyone else seems to have someone that cares about them and is interested in what they have to say, I feel like I don't have that.
I started looking for things to try and get a conversation, and something I came across was an AI chat. It sounds sad, but I gave it a try. It didn't really work that well, I don't know if that's because it isn't actually a person, or because it wasn't made very well. But it got me wondering if anyone else has come across anything like this that actually works?
Hi Dean,
I also have felt lonely for a long time and find it hard to make friends. I have recently been diagnosed with Aspergers and have been attending CBT therapy to help with the anxiety I have. This has been of great benefit as my therapist has helped me to sort out my negative thinking and to venture into new ways of building confidence. Funnily enough I have a 2.1 Hons degree in Artificial Intelligence and understand the concepts of knowledge based systems. As you said they are only as good as the programmer and generally only in specific areas.
What I found helpful especially as a talking point is things that I am interested in and joining a group with the same interests, that way I wouldn't have to focus on my shortcomings but socialise about the task instead. In my younger days I liked playing table tennis so joined a local group. This has been very successful and was a very slow easy integration into a group of varied people. Do you mind me asking you what are your interests, hobbies things that you have done or would like to do and share with others?
Hope to hear from you and things get better for you.
Hi, thanks for your reply. I have tried CBT in the past, but it was very emotional and we decided it probably wasn't the right time. I have an appointment tomorrow to give it another go.
I've tried to find groups for my interests, I had a website called meetup recomended to me on another post I made a while back, but that didn't really work. I tried to find groups for gaming, they had a lot of board games groups, but I wanted to find online gaming friends, there wasn't many groups for that when I searched.
I think my main hobby is gaming, I also enjoy going to the cinema, but that's not really a social activity, I don't want to join a cinema group and sit next to loads of strangers to watch a film, I normally go by myself and book multiple seats (with family members' cinema cards) or go with my family.
I just wanted something/someone to talk to so I didn't feel so alone
Hi Dean, not sure if I got the timing right but how was your appointment for CBT? I have also been having CBT and Counselling. I was told its not a good idea to do them at the same time but as I had already started CBT and coming to the last few sessions I didn't want to miss the opportunity to start counselling. Anyway as I received my diagnosis of ASD Aspergers I have told my counsellor that I was ending the season with him as I would need someone who has specialist knowledge of the Autism Spectrum disorders. So I think I will no longer have seasons with him and I have my final CBT therapy next week. I was lucky to get someone who was very good at connecting with me and supporting me in the CBT.
As you mentioned gaming how does it work online? I've had a quick look at youtube and it seems like many gamers connect with each other to play specific games. Does it differ from consoles like Playstation and Xbox? anyway hope to hear from you...
Dean said:What generally seems to be a problem for me aswell is finding a***holes online that if you do somethibg wrong or "stupid" their first thing to say is "AUTISM"
I've had that myself just moved on from that group. Have you tried connecting to people who have the same gaming interest as yourself. You could start a chat asking if anyone would like to join teams playing the games you like. Its worth a try you never know, gaming is massive online and i'm sure there are many others with the same interest. There are other sites you can join which might broaden your chances of finding like minded people....