Yesterday at work a colleague reversed into my car. I didn't see it happen but I saw him get out of his car and check the back of both cars. He then came in and went back outside with another colleague and he looked at the back of both cars. I can see this from my office window - they obviously did not think I could see. I was furiously waiting for an explanation. They came back in and the one responsible for hitting my car 'thanked' the other one and they both got on with their day. I was so angry. I've bumped into somebody else's car in the past before, and even with no mark, I'd still tell and apologise to the owner.
As the day went on the likelihood of an explanation and/or an apology decreased and so did my confidence - did he really hit my car then? Self-doubt started creeping in and I couldn't go out to my car to check because I didn't want to bring unnecessary attention to the situation. So at the end of the day I was last out and could check my bumper. The dirt on the back had been smudged by fingers and there were fresh cracks in the paint work. He HAD hit my car. It played on my mind all night.
This morning am I going to check cctv but I don't have access to it - I'll have to ask another colleague to show me it on their computer. It's an open plan office so it'll be obvious as to what I'm looking for. When I see the evidence what do I do? The situation is made worse by the fact my bumper is already cracked so badly underneath that I wouldn't get it repaired anyway - it probably needs replacing. (My car is bright yellow and I've never owned a car that's been hit by so many other people. 2 have gone into the back of me previously and I've already had it repaired! It's yellow! How can you not see me??).
I am 99% sure, even with evidence, he'll lie about it and I'll be forced into a public confrontation. I hate dishonesty. If he'd have told me yesterday I'd have thanked him for telling me and told him not to worry.
I don't need this on top of my already stressful job. I am correct to pursue this aren't I?
To be honest, due to the potential stress of the situation, I would just leave it. People have scratched my car before when I've left it parallel parked and there's not a lot you can really do. It is just a car after all. Yes it's annoying that they bumped your car but if it needed fixing anyway I, personally wouldn't want to add extra stress to the situation and possibly cause friction at work with colleagues. If they had properly dented your car or knocked the wing mirror off then it would be quite different and I would agree that you should pursue it, but not if it's just a small scratch. Is it the damage you are concerned with or the fact the other person didn't own up to it?
It's the act. It's not just a car to me, I love my cars. This one is already tainted to me because of how many times it's already been hit and this has just made that feeling worse. Why do people think it's ok to damage somebody else's property? I spend hours and hours cleaning, polishing and waxing it. Each time there is a new mark.
I'm leaving this company in a couple of weeks so I don't really care about the potential ongoing atmosphere. I'll be working from home again soon away from all this ridiculousness.
In the old days, cars were expensive purchases that you kept for years.
Now they are thought of like washing machines - no-one cares - it's just transport. Look around Paris parking lanes to see that everyone just bumps other cars out of the way. People have no respect for other people's cars.
Also - if your car has loads of dinks and damage, they just assume that you don't care either.
It's an expensive car (to me), and my pride and joy. To the eye's of an aspie it's dinked and damaged a lot, to NT's they wouldn't even notice (perhaps why I wasn't told about it).
Not saying anything would eat away at me like acid.
I'd maybe say to the guy "Is your car ok? My office overlooks the carpark and it looked like you bumped mine yesterday..."
Then see what he says
Ideally do this somewhere that's not public - maybe step into an empty meeting room or somewhere quiet
Think about what you want to say in advance
Don't engage emotionally a the time - if they start to 'raise the temperature', step away and suggest that maybe it would be better to discuss it later
Expect that if you hold it together during you will most likely meltdown afterwards, so try to arrange a safe space and an exit route to it (maybe sit in your car).
Original Prankster said:Expect that if you hold it together during you will most likely meltdown afterwards,
This is kind of my point, life has enough stress in it already so why make it more stressful
He sounds like a right areshole. If you have the evidence I'd:
1. Contact your insurer and make a claim
2. Report his failure to disclose the accident via the local police email form
Why should you make life easy for him when he's treated you appalling? These actions would only take a few minutes and then any further action is on the hands of your insurance company and the police.
I'd be tempted to send the following email to your colleague...
Yesterday I saw you bump into my car and this impact has caused damage to my bumper. As it's the respectful thing to do, plus failure to report an accident is actually a crime, I was expecting you to speak to me about this and it's been both upsetting and frustrating that you haven't.
I've obtained CCTV of the incident and have now forwarded this to my insurer and have contacted the police about your failure to report the incident.
That's kind of the 'nuclear option'... might be better to try a softer initial approach...
I would agree - if you really want to get a response (are you looking for an apology? Sorry I'm not quite sure what you hope to gain from the confrontation, perhaps I've misunderstood) talk to them in person first, take someone with you if that's a bit easier, but I wouldn't send a letter out of the blue
An apology at this point would be meaningless to me. I literally want them to know I know, with solid proof of the incident. I want to expose them. Why should I be the one made to feel uncomfortable about this?
I've taken a softer approach and emailed requesting the footage. That way I'm not opening myself up to questions from others. I'm not sure I could hold my emotions back or think fast enough to carry on 'playing dumb' - at the moment I've phrased it like: 'I think my car was hit on the car park yesterday'