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why do people come and go?

qwerty
over 4 years ago

I sometimes use the "search" function to look up some questions I have to see if someone in the past has already ask similar questions. And when I look at past posts, like posts that were 6 years old, the people who were actively replying to posts back then (e.g., having many posts/replies and top contributor), pretty much all of them are not actively posting now. Actually, it doesn't even have to be that long, a lot of people who were active 3 years ago are not active now. So I'm curious, what causes people to leave? Is it because they got what they needed (e.g., originally needing advice on how to get a diagnosis and then they got one)? Or is it because they get bored of having to answer the same questions over and over for so long? Or is it because they had some bad experience here? Or is it because they later got a negative diagnosis and felt they don't belong? Or is it because they got too busy in life (e.g., work, family, friends, and other demands)? Or is it because they realised that they like the forum too much that they are spending too much time on it and should take a break? Or is it because they found a different ASD group (e.g., more local, more focused)? Or because they moved to a different country?

Do you think you will still be on this forum 5 years later?

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    I think as others have said it's a combination of reasons. For my part I have become at stages thoroughly obsessed with analysing the descriptions of ASD symptoms and comparing and contrasting them with my own life, and drawing great comfort from the descriptions that other people here give about their experiences. But over the last two years since my realisation that I might have ASD, I have re-adjusted my life so that there is now far less tension between myself and the expectations of those around me; this has reduced the strong desire to find answers and to be able metaphorically to point at others and say "See! It's not just me; he/she feels / experiences that too! It's normal for people like me!". In about a fortnight I will come to the end of the NHS diagnosis process and one of three things will happen, I think:

    • I'll get a diagnosis, I'll be back here to tell everyone, I'll carry on engaging for a while and try to help others, and then I'll likely fade away and just get on with my life.
    • I'll not get a diagnosis , I'll be back here to whine about it and look for more answers, and then I'll be on another process to seek a diagnosis and I'll carry on in the forum pretty much as I am now.
    • I'll not get a diagnosis , I'll be back here to whine about it, and then I'll accept that I don't have clinically diagnosable ASD & still be here talking about thresholds, the nature of the spectrum, qualitative vs quantitative differences etc. to try to understand if ASD still provides an explanatory framework or whether I'm barking up the wrong tree altogether, and then I'll lose interest eventually.

    I could be wrong, but that's how I think it will go. There have been weeks where I've signed in to this forum more often than any other website and at least once if not twice a day, and I've valued the mutual support enormously. But nothing is forever - it's just a question of how long.

    As to why people go away for extended periods and come back, I don't know.

Reply
  • over 4 years ago

    I think as others have said it's a combination of reasons. For my part I have become at stages thoroughly obsessed with analysing the descriptions of ASD symptoms and comparing and contrasting them with my own life, and drawing great comfort from the descriptions that other people here give about their experiences. But over the last two years since my realisation that I might have ASD, I have re-adjusted my life so that there is now far less tension between myself and the expectations of those around me; this has reduced the strong desire to find answers and to be able metaphorically to point at others and say "See! It's not just me; he/she feels / experiences that too! It's normal for people like me!". In about a fortnight I will come to the end of the NHS diagnosis process and one of three things will happen, I think:

    • I'll get a diagnosis, I'll be back here to tell everyone, I'll carry on engaging for a while and try to help others, and then I'll likely fade away and just get on with my life.
    • I'll not get a diagnosis , I'll be back here to whine about it and look for more answers, and then I'll be on another process to seek a diagnosis and I'll carry on in the forum pretty much as I am now.
    • I'll not get a diagnosis , I'll be back here to whine about it, and then I'll accept that I don't have clinically diagnosable ASD & still be here talking about thresholds, the nature of the spectrum, qualitative vs quantitative differences etc. to try to understand if ASD still provides an explanatory framework or whether I'm barking up the wrong tree altogether, and then I'll lose interest eventually.

    I could be wrong, but that's how I think it will go. There have been weeks where I've signed in to this forum more often than any other website and at least once if not twice a day, and I've valued the mutual support enormously. But nothing is forever - it's just a question of how long.

    As to why people go away for extended periods and come back, I don't know.

Children