I Really Do Miss The Kind Of Humour Which Was Once Upon This Forum...

...Greetings, Anyone & Thanks for Reading.

...In preparing this Thread, I did honestly write a much longer OP (Opening Post), but then decided against it, to see if anyone else knows what I mean first, without much further Prompt. I try to be cheery here, but I cannot do it on My own. Autism here was once not so serious as it is now.

Parents
  • Thank You For Your Replies, everyone. The replies are not what I expected, but are very good anyway. Perhaps one day I shall post what I *really* meant, but not now. (Perhaps one day I shall post My original OP, I mean... but not now.) Meantime, what follows is mayhaps entertaining reading for Others, from My own devices. It would be nice if this Thread got bigger this way - mocking such things - but, well, as I said... Good Fortune, All.   

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    My own Experience of "Cures For Autism".

    A Topical Ointment: It being "Topical", One assumes that it is best applied to either the Forehead or Neck, or all over the Skin, because that is where Allistic People see Autism coming from.
    Ointments are Smooth, or Creamy, or may Burn/Sting. Thus the Smooth and Creamy Ones soothe My Confusion or Bad Temper, or the Burning/Stinging Ones make Me more Angry and so less likely to engage Socially. (Job Done, there.)

    A Pill or Oral Formula: Related to Speech and Social Interaction, it would be like a Mouthwash or Food. Best taken just before Bedtime, or just after Waking... I would suddenly have certain senses restricted ( hearing, sight, smell, taste, touch, Brain, Third-eye (!) )... and I would then be able to completely ignore The Weather or Pollution or 'the damage which Man-Made Substances are doing to Myself or to Anyone/Thing Else'... Just like most Allistic Persons can ignore it all. (Job done again, there.)

    Other "Cures For Autism" which I have Read about.:
    "Autism" is nothing more than like a Rash, a Sprain, or Asthma: the "Cures" are different for everyone, because everyone is different. The more Expensive the Cure, then the more likely it is to work. Giving away lots of Money to Frauds and to Spammers, is a very good way to "cure Autism"... They are identifiable by their offering to "cure" or "relieve" Autism and/or its symptoms.

    Use whatever "Autism Cure" works best for You. And then remain isolated and away from ALL other People and Stimuli -- this will prove that the Autism Cure is working. It is very very important that You are not exposed to any Food, or Liquid, or Air, during this period. Try not to move, or see, or breathe, however long it takes. It may take Minutes, or Months, or Years, for the "Autism Cure" to work.
    However, a warning: If You go back to trying to LIVE at all, then Your Autism *will* come back. This is Your own fault for being wanting to be Alive, since the "Autism Cure" cannot Legally be held responsible for Users violating the conditions of its contract/application.

    Any Questions, just contact the Website concerned, but be prepared for Computer Viruses after doing so.

    That is My experience of the Topic anyway.  (!)

Reply
  • Thank You For Your Replies, everyone. The replies are not what I expected, but are very good anyway. Perhaps one day I shall post what I *really* meant, but not now. (Perhaps one day I shall post My original OP, I mean... but not now.) Meantime, what follows is mayhaps entertaining reading for Others, from My own devices. It would be nice if this Thread got bigger this way - mocking such things - but, well, as I said... Good Fortune, All.   

    --------

    My own Experience of "Cures For Autism".

    A Topical Ointment: It being "Topical", One assumes that it is best applied to either the Forehead or Neck, or all over the Skin, because that is where Allistic People see Autism coming from.
    Ointments are Smooth, or Creamy, or may Burn/Sting. Thus the Smooth and Creamy Ones soothe My Confusion or Bad Temper, or the Burning/Stinging Ones make Me more Angry and so less likely to engage Socially. (Job Done, there.)

    A Pill or Oral Formula: Related to Speech and Social Interaction, it would be like a Mouthwash or Food. Best taken just before Bedtime, or just after Waking... I would suddenly have certain senses restricted ( hearing, sight, smell, taste, touch, Brain, Third-eye (!) )... and I would then be able to completely ignore The Weather or Pollution or 'the damage which Man-Made Substances are doing to Myself or to Anyone/Thing Else'... Just like most Allistic Persons can ignore it all. (Job done again, there.)

    Other "Cures For Autism" which I have Read about.:
    "Autism" is nothing more than like a Rash, a Sprain, or Asthma: the "Cures" are different for everyone, because everyone is different. The more Expensive the Cure, then the more likely it is to work. Giving away lots of Money to Frauds and to Spammers, is a very good way to "cure Autism"... They are identifiable by their offering to "cure" or "relieve" Autism and/or its symptoms.

    Use whatever "Autism Cure" works best for You. And then remain isolated and away from ALL other People and Stimuli -- this will prove that the Autism Cure is working. It is very very important that You are not exposed to any Food, or Liquid, or Air, during this period. Try not to move, or see, or breathe, however long it takes. It may take Minutes, or Months, or Years, for the "Autism Cure" to work.
    However, a warning: If You go back to trying to LIVE at all, then Your Autism *will* come back. This is Your own fault for being wanting to be Alive, since the "Autism Cure" cannot Legally be held responsible for Users violating the conditions of its contract/application.

    Any Questions, just contact the Website concerned, but be prepared for Computer Viruses after doing so.

    That is My experience of the Topic anyway.  (!)

Children