What must we do to change things?

So I recently stumbled across this article that really resonated with me - https://aeon.co/essays/the-autistic-view-of-the-world-is-not-the-neurotypical-cliche

It describes to negative connotations and stereotypes associated with autism and covers controversial areas, such as how autistic people lack empathy, are unable to love etc.

The scope of the article highlights how autistic people are observed and judged by neurotypicals and explains how their perceptions and prejudices are based on their own perspectives and experiences.

This may sound harsh and divisive at first, but there is a valid point throughout that due to our minority status, we rarely have a voice to explains ourselves and  although I confess I could never fully understand something from a neurotypical perspective, at the same time I wouldn't expect a neurotypical to fully understand something from a neurodiverse perspective either.

What is depressing for me, is that despite that insight into each other worlds, so to speak, clearly lacking on some parts, it is the autistic person who us at fault and not a problem shared by both parties.

I shared this article with my partner and his response was, when are you going to accept life is unfair and you just have to get on with it.  Of course he wants to crack on with things because it doesn't affect him!  I gave the example of how it would appear should you swap the autistic person with someone who is homosexual or black - he didn't think the same thing applied and so this is why this article is so relevant for out times.

I don't want a NT and ND division, so how do we come to understand each other better?

Parents
  • Yes, this is a very interesting article, and thankyou for bringing it to our attention.  I too was first introduced to the idea of Asperger's autism through reading 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time' and although I thought I recognised things in Christopher's behaviour, I still didn't make the connection until much later.  Actually, it was when I first took the AQ test and scored 43 that I decided to follow things up.  You are right that it is usually the autistic person who is at fault by virtue of minority status.  Yet other minorities aren't told they are at fault, unless by bigots.  Gay people and people who follow certain minority belief systems seem to get generally respected for their differences in  diverse society.  I have been told many times, though, the usual things like 'we all have problems'.  On another thread, someone else has said about how they are being discriminated against at work and told that all the other staff have their own issues, too.  Your partner, if I may say, sounds quite typically dismissive.  The example you gave him is completely relevant.  The question you pose is difficult to answer, and is the nub of the whole issue.  Perhaps we need some kind of 'virtual experience' software for people to use to help them to understand the experience, like wearing a blindfold for a day to understand what it's like to be blind, or being restrained in a wheelchair to understand what it's like not to have the use of legs.  Society creates these problems for us because society is designed for the majority of people who can walk and see.  In the same way, though, society can still respond with remedial or corrective measures.  You could say that lip service is being paid to conditions like ours by things like autism-friendly times in shops or 'not all disabilities are visible' signs, though it all helps.  I for one make a huge effort to understand NT life.  I always have done really, but more so since diagnosis.  Before I was diagnosed, as far as I was concerned I was NT anyway, except with added on personal issues that I couldn't understand.  Maybe the favour will never be properly returned.  How many people are really interested in finding out by experience what it's like to be autistic?  We on the other hand have no choice but to find out what life is like in the non-autistic majority world.  Perhaps it's not up to us so much to try to do the persuading, but up to NTs to be willing to find out.  I'm really not sure how that can be achieved.  In the meantime, people will continue to rely on the stereotypes mentioned in the article, and to think of 'autistic' as a some kind of synonym for 'awful', as that stupid sociologist said.

Reply
  • Yes, this is a very interesting article, and thankyou for bringing it to our attention.  I too was first introduced to the idea of Asperger's autism through reading 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time' and although I thought I recognised things in Christopher's behaviour, I still didn't make the connection until much later.  Actually, it was when I first took the AQ test and scored 43 that I decided to follow things up.  You are right that it is usually the autistic person who is at fault by virtue of minority status.  Yet other minorities aren't told they are at fault, unless by bigots.  Gay people and people who follow certain minority belief systems seem to get generally respected for their differences in  diverse society.  I have been told many times, though, the usual things like 'we all have problems'.  On another thread, someone else has said about how they are being discriminated against at work and told that all the other staff have their own issues, too.  Your partner, if I may say, sounds quite typically dismissive.  The example you gave him is completely relevant.  The question you pose is difficult to answer, and is the nub of the whole issue.  Perhaps we need some kind of 'virtual experience' software for people to use to help them to understand the experience, like wearing a blindfold for a day to understand what it's like to be blind, or being restrained in a wheelchair to understand what it's like not to have the use of legs.  Society creates these problems for us because society is designed for the majority of people who can walk and see.  In the same way, though, society can still respond with remedial or corrective measures.  You could say that lip service is being paid to conditions like ours by things like autism-friendly times in shops or 'not all disabilities are visible' signs, though it all helps.  I for one make a huge effort to understand NT life.  I always have done really, but more so since diagnosis.  Before I was diagnosed, as far as I was concerned I was NT anyway, except with added on personal issues that I couldn't understand.  Maybe the favour will never be properly returned.  How many people are really interested in finding out by experience what it's like to be autistic?  We on the other hand have no choice but to find out what life is like in the non-autistic majority world.  Perhaps it's not up to us so much to try to do the persuading, but up to NTs to be willing to find out.  I'm really not sure how that can be achieved.  In the meantime, people will continue to rely on the stereotypes mentioned in the article, and to think of 'autistic' as a some kind of synonym for 'awful', as that stupid sociologist said.

Children