Breaking the Programming.

Hi DC,

Yes... the South London social milieu that I grew up in has long gone.  It makes me feel rootless now.  Each time I go back up there, I recognise it less and less.  Most of the working-class boozers that my dad used to frequent are now bistros and gastro-pubs.  Hipsters are everywhere!

I like to defy convention or expectation, too.  Back in those hunt-sabbing days, we used to go on regular demos at local village meets or at other hunt-related activities like dinner-dances.  My fellow sabs invariably wore camos and para boots, etc.  I usually, though, wore a suit and tie.  The hunts-people didn't expect that!  They liked to categorise us all as dirty, smelly, long-haired layabouts. 

I well-remember a hunt follower referring to me one day as 'scum'.  "Scum, my friend," I replied, "is something that rises to the surface and leaves a mark!"  Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

If someone makes insincere small talk with me I turn it into a bit of a joke.

Them: Hi. How are you?

Me: Well, I'm alright. How are you?

Them: I'm good.

Me: So how are you doing overall?

...Greetings. Me, just to add a bit of chaos/rebellion/perspective in this Thread...I Myself always am going against the "programming" of My local area - South London - ...by ALWAYS wearing a Tie or some kind of neckwear, even though I am not a Lawyer, Estate Agent, or SchoolChild. I do not wear clothes (jeans, t-shirt) which are so tight that they may as well be painted on. And neither do I wear at least two children, or fawn over children belonging to other people, nor do I dye my hair, or use the F-Word, or stand around twiddling my thumbs over a small screen while preventing other persons from passing by... Pick at least two out of all those and that is what surrounding Persons appear to do, here.

...Living in London, with regards to Food, the outskirts tend to charge reasonable prices, yet there is a thing known as "Tourist Prices" here, where, closer to the City Centre, for the same thing costing around £3, it can be more than £10 (and yes this is the same Brand inside the the same Shop). Seriously.

My worst crime of all, however, it would seem, is to have no Mobile Phone / properly working EMail address. Anyone reading this, keep it a secret, Hmmmm...?  (!)

With you on most of that.  The last time I wore a tie was around my waist, to hold my trousers up!

I've deleted or deactivated all of my social media accounts.  Just this one going now.

I feel this too. The programming is insidious.

And I do as you said - if someone asks how I am, I tell them.

Funnily enough, yesterday I went to Pizza Hut for the first time in years and my wife and I both commented on the prices. We had already moved restaurant once though so stayed put. It was blasted half term though & I wish I had taken my ear plugs with me!

Things I've done:

• I no longer send Christmas cards (!)
• I was brave enough to follow that up by texting my mother telling her I'm no longer sending cards & gifts for anything on the calendar, apart from gifts only for birthdays and Xmas.
• I wear earplugs in public
• I often answer "How are you?" with "Good thanks!" and leave it at that, if I don't care how the other person is (e.g. if I don't know them).
• I haven't worn a shirt & tie, or that kind of shirt, since 2017.
• If it's cold in the office, I sit at my desk with my coat on.
• I'm comfortable walking into and out of the office with earplugs in, and saying neither good morning nor goodbye (I sometimes do though, when *I* feel like it).
• I say no when colleagues ask if I want lunch with them, especially if we've just been in a meeting together
• When my mother texts, I leave it an hour or a day before texting back & no longer feel pressured into replying instantly
• I've deleted my LinkedIn account!!!!
• I'm sure there's more!

Hmm...  There's the uncomfortable thought that i've been so deeply programmed I'm poor at distinguishing the programming from my actual self (if there really is one of those, that is).   

I'm more honest about how i am recently though.  As in, "How are you?"  "Suffering a bit because of this, this and this, actually!"  Or begging to differ in a discussion, instead of assuming that the other person must somehow know more than me so i should defer to them.       

I'd certainly be with you on that.  I'd never pay that amount for a pizza.  It's like going to places where they have a captive audience, and they charge exorbitant rates.  Last week, I went on a trip with some clients at work - and the on-site restaurant at the venue wanted nearly £7 for a jacket potato and salad.  Filling for the potato was 85p extra.  When it came, the salad was a chopped lettuce leaf and two slices of cucumber!  So basically, it was nearly £8 for a jacket potato with a dollop of cheese on top. At least I wasn't paying for it, but all the same...

At work on Thursday, I reported a faulty electrical cable on one of the beds we use for clients.  In three places, the sheathing was worn through to the wires, and in one of those places a copper wire was actually exposed.  A couple of maintenance men came and looked at it - and said it was perfectly safe!  One of them even put his tongue on one of the worn places (a wasted stunt as the bed was unplugged).  So... I'm going to report it.  I've started to be a lot more assertive now, and speak up for myself.  I've had enough of being treated like a rube or a soft touch.

I've broken some written rules, too.  I trespassed many times when I used to go out sabbing fox hunts years ago.  Even got charged once.  But it was worth it.

One thing my condition has helped to make me is a rebel and nonconformist.