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Trying to find people

NAS51247

Hello,I don't know how to write this or really know what to say..I struggle with that alot it's awkward for me I have social anxiety quite badly that I don't go out,So I have no friends I always want one friend that I can talk to often rather than friends that hardly make any effort to interact with me.The feeling makes me feel bad about myself and that I'm unlikable or I'm a problem that people don't want to deal with I can be quite annoying..I am very expressive my mind runs non stop so I can talk alot then other times I don't want to talk at all.

Anyway I guess I want to find people that understand and are friendly 

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  • You are not alone in how you feel. I have struggled with social anxiety for years. A while back I did some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for social anxiety and it really helped me. 

    One of the things I learnt was to lower my expectations - I was expecting that a) I had to manage every social situation and b) that I had to be perfect otherwise people wouldn't like me. Don't feel bad about yourself - loads of people have social anxiety. Some are just much better at covering it up than others.

    Maybe you could experiment a bit and try out different situations. For example, I prefer to meet people one to one or in small groups. Sometimes I am not in the mood so in that case I cancel. 

    I am sure you are a very interesting and likeable person. Try to meet people through any interests that you have. I am sure you will make connections with some people. Friends will accept that you don't always feel like talking and not judge you for being a bit different. After all, it makes you more interesting than most people who might often be the same as each other! 

  • in reply to Andrew

    I don't know why but reading your reply made me cry..I tried to see someone like that I just couldn't do what they wanted me to do.I have anxiety in general not just with people but life in general I can't deal with..I can't seem to attract the right people,all people ever do is use me and take advantage..I have an impulsive problem I do things without thinking first or my feelings get the better of me.Gosh this is so hard for me to write without getting upset..

  • in reply to NAS51247

    Sorry if I have upset you. Anxiety is really difficult to deal with - I struggle with it too. All I can say is that professional help might work - and not to be too hard on yourself. You are doing your best! 

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