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Separated parents of an asd+adhd child - courts

NAS50800

I’m seeking advice on how to arrange contact with a nonresident parent fairly and amicably.

My sons father has spent the most part of our child’s life away,l mainly due to working overseas, however started seeing our son 10.30-4 every fourth Sunday around 2 years ago plus private arrangements such as trips out or if we are local he will see him but has never had an overnight stay.

My ex partner now wants our son to travel to Manchester from the West Midlands  every other weekend for the weekend.

As the main carer of our son I think this is preposterous, I believe it’s too much travelling (our son doesn’t like travelling or being away from our house) he will be over stimulated, overtired and I think he will have more meltdowns plus everything in between.

I am now waiting for a mediation date however I doubt we will get far as I’ve already offered him to let him take him out on extra days as long as he returns home ( as requested by our child) but my ex won’t agree to that so imagine the next step will be court.

I’m due to see a solicitor next week but in the mean any advice would be greatly recived.

our child is nearly 10.however is around 1 1/2 -2 years behind developmentally. He has asd,adhd, hypermobility syndrome,dyslexia, doesn’t like to sleep and recently started getting non cancerous growths that will hopefully be removed in the latter part of the year. So he has a lot to deal with and that’s why I’m finding it hard to find a decent resolution between us as I think it’s too much for him.

  • Document as much as you can on the affects travelling has on autistic people, as well as how he is during a meltdown. Make it simple, and relevant to you - don't bombard the courts with research or irrelevant documents. Assume the solicitors and courts have no idea what autism is.  The courts will always have the childs interests over anyone elses. If you can, try to get something from the Dr in writing, and if he has social care, get something in writing there too.

    If it comes to court, you will almost certainly be asked to go to mediation first - this will likely be in the court on the day. Agree to it even if you don't want to. You can state your case to the mediator and they will report their findings to the judge.

  • Hi..l agree with you. At the end of the day as his main cater you will have to pick up the pieces of he b comes stressed and it could take days for him to calm down ...just in time for the next visit.

    Your son's needs must come first..not your husband's.

    Some people do not understand the fine balance .. equilibrium that has to be maintained at home for the best results.

    Be interesting to see what others opinions are.

    There are some very helpful people on here.

    Take care of yourself in all this x