Hi, We just want to say how proud we are of our son who is on the autistic spectrum and has struggled immensely like many others over the years.
He didn't have the best start in life as he was starved of oxygen during his birth and we were told he was unlikely to ever walk and talk or reach the milestones of other children. I shed so many tears, tears of sadness, fear, what have I done wrong, what will happen to him, how will I cope etc. He was in SCBU for a month, all I had was a picture on my locker to say I'd given birth, we were allowed to touch him the first week by putting our hand through the door of the incubator, eventually I was allowed to hold him 5 mins at a time. He was allowed home after a month and despite lots of sleepless nights and lots of hospital appointments I was determined that I would at least try to get him to walk and talk one day, that day arrived and I was ecstatic to say the least, this followed by some sadness as he started to bang his head on walls, disliked noises and many other things too.
He started playgroup but couldn't settle, I cried all the way home as I could hear his cries at the bottom of the school drive. Eventually he went into mainstream school where we were told he needed more help than they could offer so he was moved to a unit where he was upset as he had to travel by taxi everyday, he stayed until it was time to move to high school. He moved to a special needs high school and after a few years he was beaten up. Following this we removed him from education and informed the authorities that unless they found a suitable school he would remain at home. We got there in the end, he went to a lovely school with caring and supportive staff, his confidence was zero, he was angry, couldn't see the point in learning. After a few months he began to feel accepted, he felt he could learn, the anger lessened, he had lovely friends and they helped each other. He took part in various activities and represented his school on many occasions. Outside of school he enjoyed learning to play the drums but was always able to tell school about his progress, they encouraged him to take his drums into school and share his passion.
Since leaving school his passion for music and drums has continued, he has passed all his rockschool grades 1 to 8 some with merit and distinction. He went to one college which didn't work out for him so he took a year out until we found another college where he could work on his level 2 maths and english which he needs to fulfil his ambition of trying to go to university.
Happy to say that today through sheer determination and commitment to try to get to university he has achieved his goal of passing his level 2 in both subjects, the look on his face was priceless. I am one of the proudest mums on the planet right now and I'm still crying but happy tears as he has achieved so much and the early tears were well worth it. His dad is also very proud but doesn't cry like mum.
We should never give up on our dreams as with the right help and understanding of our childrens needs they can achieve such wonderful things. We hope the future continues to be bright for our son and other people who struggle on a daily basis. I'm not saying we haven't got other struggles ahead but right now we are happy to savour this lovely moment. All we ask for is acceptance, please don't judge our children, we can see the stares and the nudges, we also hear the comments of 'what a naughty child' or 'what bad parents' - I've heard enough of that from family members and it's so not true. As parents we have feelings and it hurts.
I would like to thank Barry for being there with a kind word when the going got tough and for the lovely staff at my son's school and college. I hope my son's story inspires someone who is facing the difficulties we have faced, sometimes it took me all my time to get up in the morning but I'm glad I did to see my wonderful son's achievements today. xx
