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Strange experience

Whats-His-Face

so last night I experienced something I’ve never experienced in my 31 years of my life. I had a meltdown but was totally aware I was having a meltdown and that it was a meltdown and yet I still had the meltdown. It kinda felt like I was watching it play out, like I was acting or something(sorry it’s hard to explain how it felt) and yet I had no control in its direction. 

I don’t know if any of that makes sense but thought I’d share it anyway lol. 

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  • in reply to Blank

    Something also strange happened after as well, my mum was stimming for me. She was holding and rubbing my hand and I was completely still. I’m normally doing something but I was completely still and again I was aware of this. 

    I have noticed since diagnosis in September I’m aware when I Stim and that it’s stimming but still carry on even though I consciously feel I’m doing it because I should be doing it.

    My god reading all that back makes no sense to me but I don’t know how else to explain it lol