I hate funerals

I started this thread because my 'social worker ' rang this morning to cancel an appointment with me because she had had a bereavement in her family.   And it brought back to me memories of my family deaths & funerals. 

My father's last days and funeral were a nightmare for me, him and others involved. 

He had mental health issues and disabilities which were much worse than mine.

His behaviour in hospital was very bad and they treated him even worse.  he was put into a private single room because of his shouting and They gave up on him and were discharging him even as he was getting weaker and weaker and dying. 

I visited him every day,  my auntie every two or three days.  My mother refused to visit him at all.  She was still scared by an incident in a supermarket six years earlier. She vowed never to go with him anywhere ever again. And she kept that promise.

A couple of days before he passed away, my auntie visited us in shock, saying that he's getting worse and worse every time she saw him in hospital, yet instead of treating him they are talking of discharging him.  And on her last visit one of the nurses assaulted him in front of her, by shaking him violently by the shoulders and shouting at him to SHUT UP. 

I can't write any more for now. 

I don't like the 'let's praise the dead person' kind of funeral. But honest ones are rare.

Family members often only see each other at those kind of events so something always seems to show up and arguments arise.

Unless the whole thing is kept short and simple.

As a youngling I altar served at my father's funeral.  There was then a service at the crematorium.  I went to get rid of the altar serving get-up and then came out expecting to get a lift to the crem.  Except that everyone had vanished.  I didn't know what else to do so I went back to school.  Nice.  Thanks for forgetting me...