Published on 12, July, 2020
My wife is unwilling to accept that our four year old is autistic. I am British and she is Chinese and we live in China. My son hears both English and Mandarin on a daily basis and she attributes this to his speech difficulties.
My son spins his keys often and forces air into his ears, to stimulate or block out loud noises.
I worry without help, this may hinder his development for good.
I don't know what to do as I feel he'd be better off in the UK with guidance or treatment, however, our life isn't as easy as that and there are other variables making it difficult!
I hope so.
Dont worry about your little one, I’m sure they’ll be fine.
It can be a struggle at times here, but the positives still outweigh the negatives.
Thank you for helping, sending positive thoughts your way.
Maybe he'll be alright. Most kids have a favourite toy. As a parent myself I recognise the worrying.
My one year old does not have a favourite toy which worries me. And I am always on the look out for the first signs of autism.
It mustn't be easy dealing with Asian culture on a daily basis. One of my best friends at secondary school was Japanese, hence I know what it is like (granted there are differences between China and Japan :-) ).
In China, most parents tend to ignore the issue as it causes loss of face.
Our sons keys are his go to toy, so he’ll happily play with them for a long time, at all hours. I know some children have a favourite blanket, he is the same with his keys.
Thank you for elaborating.
Personally I'd go with the specialist who said he isn't autistic and wait until next summer to get him re-examined in the UK. He is still young and might just be a bit slower, and might catch up with his peers a bit later.
Also having an 'autism' label isn't necessarily an advantage from my point of view. (I've only recently been diagnosed at 44 and wasn't singled out as 'different' in primary school. I think my parents had their suspicions but saw more downsides than advantages in a diagnosis.)
And I don't know how well off your son would be with such a diagnosis in China?
When does he spin his keys? Is it in any way related to certain times or after certain events? Maybe stress-related?
Thank you for your reply.
We had our son examined by two doctors. One said he may be slightly autistic and one said he isn’t.
We visit the UK every summer and we should have visited a specialist!
I guess we just hope that he is behind in his development, but after research I believe he demonstrates signs, such as; spinning of keys, dislike of loud noise, not a great deal of eye contact, language struggles.
How do you know he is autistic? Just because of the spinning and dislike of loud noises? He might just be very sensitive - or maybe HSP.
Bilingual children are usually slower in speech development, as they might have more issues with other subjects.
If you visit the Uk on a regular basis, perhaps you could suggest visiting a specialist and finding out for sure?