Hey, if you like books.....

Hi Nexus

its a pretty good list...and there are books I would add...

the velveteen rabbit - as a story of diagnosis acceptance

... further books to add....

Oscar Wilde: The Nightingale and the Rose (the fickleness of folk)

black Roses - Simon Armitage - about the dangers of not fitting in. A piece of prose about a goth and her partner killed for being different - true story. Quote below:

”

Have we said the wrong word?
Have we made the wrong turn?
Have we strayed from the path?
Have we stepped on their patch?

Do they find offence
at the studs in my lips,
or the rings in my ear?
Are they morally outraged by what we wear?

We are kindly creatures, peaceful souls,
but something of our life aggravates theirs,
something in their lives despises ours.

The difference between us is what they can't stand.”

Hi Nexus

its a pretty good list...and there are books I would add...

the velveteen rabbit - as a story of diagnosis acceptance

... further books to add....

Oscar Wilde: The Nightingale and the Rose (the fickleness of folk)

black Roses - Simon Armitage - about the dangers of not fitting in. A piece of prose about a goth and her partner killed for being different - true story. Quote below:

”

Have we said the wrong word?
Have we made the wrong turn?
Have we strayed from the path?
Have we stepped on their patch?

Do they find offence
at the studs in my lips,
or the rings in my ear?
Are they morally outraged by what we wear?

We are kindly creatures, peaceful souls,
but something of our life aggravates theirs,
something in their lives despises ours.

The difference between us is what they can't stand.”

Was Black Roses written by the boyfriend of the girl who was murdered, Sophie Lancaster?

.

Ok, my lovely Eli, I understand now what is going on here. Or at least I think I do. 

First of all, thank you for the book list. I’ve been wanting to read a book for years, but can only read a book that’s been recommended to me and when you don’t speak to many people, it’s not so easy to get recommendations! And when I do get a recommendation, it has to ‘feel’ right to me before I will even consider it, and so far, I have had no good feelings, until now. So thank you for the recommendations, they’re truly amazing. I look forward to getting stuck into them. 

But getting back to the point. I’ve realised that your barrier to communication is your intelligence. Your intelligence is superior, sharp and super clear and reminds me of two things. 

One is, that in the AA 12 step program, the ones who struggle the most, to work the program, are the ones with the greatest intelligence. 

And the second thing I’m reminded of is a story by the Buddha. For years, he had been teaching his loyal, faithful, hard working students, all about the meaning of life, but they couldn’t, for the life of them, get it. One day an old poor illiterate lady from a local village came to hear the Buddha speak and like a miracle, her life was instantly transformed. The faithful monks couldn’t believe it. How was it possible? And the Buddha explained that because she had no knowledge, no understanding of the things the Buddha spoke of, she was able to hear the words of the Buddha as they were spoken and without any reference point to compare them too, she simply understood what he was saying. 

I don’t think I’ve explained that very well but what suddenly came to me, when I began to read your list, was that it was simply your level of intelligence that was the cause of your barrier to what you think is effective communication. This is good news. Because it means that if you are the cause, you are also your solution. 

I could be totally barking up the wrong tree here, and forgive me if I am but the way I see it is, there are no real answers to autism. It is simply one of the great wonders of this world. If every autistic person stood their ground and stepped into their true power, which is in being simply who they are, they would light up the world to such a degree that you would see us from space. And like the Great Wall of China, people would say, oh look, there’s the autistics! We are the light of this world. This isn’t an understanding that can come from intellectual working out, it’s beyond the intellect. In this case, the intellect is a barrier, not a help. 

I doubt you have any idea of the significance of your intellect. You have it to be of help to you and the world, not for it to be a barrier. Nt’s will ‘never’ get us just like we will ‘never’ get them, no matter how much we think we do. And that’s ok. It doesn’t have to cause a separation but it does demand that people know themselves, love themselves and in accepting themselves, accept all others and that level of acceptance starts with us. Our only job in life is to know ourselves, love ourselves, accept ourselves then simply be ourselves. I don’t know why you have the level of intellect that you have but it’s a delicious and intoxicating gift and I hope one day soon you’ll set it free and you won’t care one ounce if an nt doesn’t get you. There will still be no barriers to communication because I’ve learned from my support worker and my work coach, that nt’s are amazing at knowing and understanding people and when we be ourselves, they somehow just get us, while not totally getting us, because how could they, an aspies brain is way too complex for even us to work out! - so I’ve decided to stop trying to work it out and to simply enjoy it instead. How is it that a 51 year old woman can write out an entire schedule for a five day retreat, in half an hour, but can’t get herself a drink of water, even though she’s clearly dehydrated! It doesn’t make sense but I’m happy to live with that. And instead of learning to ‘cope’ with situations I find difficult, I have simply erased them from my life so on the occasions I do need to do something I might not ordinarily choose to do, like go to the job centre, it’s much easier to do as I know the benefit it has for me and I can take some time to prepare and process it etc. I’m simplifying my life more and more each day, to suit me, and although it is a process of sorts, it doesn’t feel like that because the only things I ever wanted in life were to know who I was, why I was here, why I was so different from other people and to get some help and now I’ve got the answers to those questions and I’ve got the help, I feel like my life is complete. All I need to do now is live it and enjoy it. The barrier for me was I was forever trying to work it all out when all I really needed to do was to simply accept myself for who I was. But of course, before I could do that, I had to find out who I was and I found that out with the diagnosis and it’s been game on since then. The diagnosis was a game changer but it wasn’t the be all and end all, it was only the start. Aspie world is way more exciting and interesting than nt world. I simply adore our varied and intense interests and I just love how we are. Our world will never look like that of an nt’s but we can learn and benefit from their input and visa versa. As Temple Grandin has said, the world needs all kinds of minds. No one is better than another but I have to say, I find our minds so utterly interesting and intoxicating that I don’t need to go to the pub for a pint. I enjoy my Friday mornings at the local community centre with my autism group and my time spent here. That makes me happy. Sorry if I got that totally wrong. 

I have never read the velveteen rabbit.

At 16 The Chrysalids spoke to me in a way I had never imagined.