Does anyone else have problems with this balancing act? If not I'm just getting this off my chest.
I feel odd when I'm with people, without being insulting towards other humans I find they frustrate the life out of me. I find people just don't really have much valid to say. At the moment I'm sick of hearing people being demonised for claiming benifits, by people who claim working tax credits, child tax credits etc. I'm not in a position were I personally need to claim benifits, however I'm not into the demonisation of the ill and unemployed. It's not only this issue, people just being wide of the mark on lots of topics, science denialist's tend to be particulary frustrating.
I'd like to get on with people a lot more, I enjoy being social (within my small circle of friends). But I just find people stupid, ignorant and inhumane. I'm generally misanthropic and tend to upset people quite frequently by telling them that human life is cheap and explaining about a history of slave labour, concentration camps etc. Well I say upset, I think it just annoys people as It questions thier humanitarian ideals. I suppose thier lies my problem, hypocritical humanist whom don't see that they treat humans particulary badly. For instance they want to save the world and help African children, but have a poor attitude to work colleages.
I went to Auschwitz recently and people seem perplexed that I didn't get upset from the visit. I find it very odd: when I here people talking about how they think other people should be dealt with for not working (and not conforming to thier belief system), I can easily see how something as big as Nazi Germany could escalate. I find it so odd that people think that work is the only important thing in life. Surely there has to be more to life than self regulated slavery?
Today I cut my grass with mp3 player on and it was just bliss. Solitude and the world blanked out.
Wierdly, I still crave some social activities even tho people frustrate the life out of me.
but is sometimes all there is. I dislike queues too. They make me feel self-concious and increasingly anxious the longer I am in them. I end up closing my eyes. Ordering things I sometimes get really mixed up and say things all in the wrong order. Sometimes not. Once I have ordered then there is that gap of time where you are just stood there waiting trying to act 'normal'...... There is a ponit in these sorts of transactions where I just want to leave.... even if my order is wrong or they have misunderstood (or I have).....I find it really hard to challenge someone in a shop as I just feel so unconfortable and confused.