Uni Successes! ANYONE OUT THERE!?

Hiya,

I'm an 18 year old female aspie, and I will probably have to move to live on campus at uni alone....about 6 hours drive away from my mum.

I'm fed up (aka, terrified) about reading all these stories of people with any form of ASD being driven practically insane with stress and having to abandon their studies to go home.

So please, if you've been to uni, or are at uni, and doing ok, doesn't have to be brilliant, just ok or even coping, let me know! I'd really appreciate knowing what to expect!

Not sure whether I should put this in Education or General so I'm going with general, as its not the actual learning I'm worried about, its the living away from mum bit. :)

Thanks!

Katie.

  • Hi Katie,

    I did okay at uni.  Far better than I did at school.  I was 28 when I went, though, and had a lot of catching up to do. Being older, I wasn't part of the usual undergrad scene.  But I didn't really want to be.  I made a few friends, but nothing lasting.  Generally, they were older students too, and like me they were there to learn rather than have a fantastic social life and indulge in their first taste of independence.  I should say I wasn't diagnosed at the time - though the indications were all there.  I'd never been a part of any social scene before, and had never had many friends, so uni was alright for me.  I knuckled down and got on with the work.  I also had a good time - but on my own terms.

    It might be worth your while enquiring with the uni you're going to as to whether they offer any kind of specialist help or support.  An ex-colleague of mine is a 'mentor' (or 'advocate') with high-functioning autistic people at our local university.  Maybe yours will have something similar.

    Good luck.

    Tom

  • Degree in Philosophy and Literature

    Degree in Computing

    Masters in Games Design (distance learning)

    I privately rented during my first degree (mainly due to bringing two cats with me) and so didn’t have to share halls with 9 other students which I think helped. I couldn’t wait to leave home and start my own adventure. Like regular Aspie life, find good calm bolt holes to be in and dip in and out if the experience as much as you like/want to. Good luck

  • To add to what Longman is saying (but from my perspective): I done some voluntary work in a local music venue (as I studied music tech), it greatly helped me understand thesis from the classroom in a real environment, its great for the CV and to be honest it was good fun.

    When I went for job interviews I would say that employers found this as important as the qualifications. From what I'm aware not many graduates from my course got a job relevant to the degree they studied for, mainly due to this. Even those with firsts.

  • Just to pick up on Drawde's mention of volunteering, this is well worth looking into.

    Many universities have a volunteer scheme. The thing is it is structured and managed by full time staff, and involves both staff and students doing volunteering. Because these set-ups are well established they are well placed to get volunteering opportunities that suit any one student's needs.

    I have observed, in the one operating where I worked until retirement, that many disabled students join the volunteering scheme. They seem to benefit from this.

    Also as Dawde indicated it is useful work experience for your CV which employers welcome. And regular and successful volunteers get awards and recognition events.

    Because of the way it is structured you can get involved, meet people or avoid people as is your preference, and you aren't being intimidated by people wanting you to go pubbing, clubbing or rampaging round town with them, which is a problem with some sports and activity groups in a university.

    My impression from knowing one scheme is that it provides some structure and support for disabled students who want to get involved and put something into the community.

  • Hi Katie

    I had both a failure and success story.

    Initially I went to a uni that was very far away in North East England (I'm the South West) and was studying a highly scientific course where most of the learning was in large lectures (the course was inflexible, so every single student - 200+ people - were in every lecture) or seminars requiring group input. The uni allocated accommodation and I was in catered and had 30 people in small rooms sharing facilities.

    The things that cumulated were:

    • No independent study time - constantly around others.
    • Catered halls = eating with others in a busy canteen.
    • Long way from home = very different culture and no escape.

    Needless to say, I completely failed to deal with it, and dropped out after nine months. 

    It wasn't a total waste though as while I was there I was proactive in working out what was wrong and I needed to be different. I started at a different uni on a different course three months later.

    This time, I chose a uni that was 75 minutes drive from home and kept my car at uni - This meant that if I needed it, there was always an escape available. The proximity meant it wasn't a complete culture-shock, I felt comfortable in the city.

    I also chose a course that was more reliant on independent study time, with just 5-10 hours a week of lectures. The course had different module options so the lectures had fewer people - 30-40 at a time.

    I was able to choose my accommodation and made sure to choose well. Having an unconditional offer made this easier because I had first pick. I chose self-catered accommodation with 6 people sharing a kitchen and living room. A much easier to deal with number, and I could always eat in my room if I had to. I had ensuite facilities so didn't have to share. Finally, it was on a "quiet" side of campus with only postgrad accommodation nearby, so no noise ever.

    This worked really well for me. I kept my head down, focussed on studying and came out with a really good degree. And I was happy there. I made one real friend while I was there (we were in the same flat in my first year) and lived together for our second and third years, and to be honest I didn't want or need any more friends. We're still very close friends five years after graduation.

    The only thing I look back on and regret is not making more of an effort to get extra-curricular activities on my CV, and I wish someone had spelled out the importance to me at the time. The graduate jobs market is very crowded at the moment and employers look at every detail to differentiate between candidates. At the time, I felt like all societies were about partying and drinking which I found abhorrant, but on hindsight I think I could have found some quieter ones focussed on academic pursuits or maybe volunteered.

    So overall, I loved uni and got a great degree. Just make sure you plan it carefully, and don't be afraid to talk to the uni about your needs if it helps you get the accommodation and course that will help you cope.

  • I went to University and I chose one nearer to home so I could come home at weekends and it worked well for me. At that point I hadn't had my formal diagnosis but we knew there was something.

     

    So during the week I lived at Uni and then came home on friday evenings and went back monday mornings so I got the support I needed. It worked well and developed a new independence in me which I still have.

     

    The difficulty for me was getting work afterwards and I have been unable to get a job in the field I'd like to work in and although I do work (in a rubbish job) it's hard getting on somewhere else in part because of my ASD diagnosis.

     

    Go for it, and get the support you need from the Uni too if you already have your diagnosis.

  • Hi Katie,

    I went to University in Cambridge (though not to Cambridge University), and came out with a Degree in Software Engineering for Real-Time Systems.

    So, it's not always a disaster!

    Though one thing that I think helped me was that I lived in a house owned by a couple who let 2 of their bedrooms to students - so I didn't have to cope with living by myself at the same time as being at Uni.

    As longman suggests it would be a good idea to contact the University beforehand, find out what help they can offer, and try to find a way to work round any potential problems before they happen.

    However, you'll hopefully find, like I did, that you and your fellow course-mates will band together, and support each-other, because almost everyone will be in roughly the same boat (though most probably won't also be Aspie).

  • I've posted this sort of thing before but worth setting out again. My background, apart from having lived in halls (and being a hall tutor) as a postgrad, is more recently having provided disability support in a university environment.

    You should try to arrange a meeting with disability support and at least one of the teaching staff on your course before term starts, if that is something you'd feel comfortable with. Most universities will do this and show you a typical teaching room and around the facilities.

    Universities seem slower with regard to campus accommodation. They'll show most prospective students or their parents a typical hall room during Open Days, but you need much more than this. You need to find out the most likely configuration of rooms, and you may be able to negotiate one better suited to your needs. But you need to explain to the university what the issues might be.

    Most commonly rooms are arranged in flats of five or six individual study rooms with some central facilities. Some halls have en suite toilets and showers, but others still have communal toilets and washing facilities. If you would have trouble sharing ask if they have some rooms with en suite.

    Shared facilities mean getting on socially with the flatmates who are likely to be people you've never met before. Sometimes, as students can be very noisy and partying all the time it is better to get in a flat with a mix of older students. But Universities are often a bit blind to the problems here so it is important to identify if you'd have social or noise difficulties.

    Some universities tend to put all the "specials" together though they are getting better at not doing this. By specials I mean not just disabilities but lumping matures and overseas into one group of flats on the principle they can all be in a quiet place together. As I say, there have been enough complaints to stop most universities doing this, but you still get some with this ghetto approach. It could mean that you aren't getting a chance to mix with your fellow students and are stuck with people you have nothing in common with coursewise.

    Catering is often either in the shared kitchen in a flat, or there may be restaurants. The restaurants can be messy and noisy and crowded (and they always seem to think background music is needed to eat). If you have to use the shared kitchen will it be pleasant if your flatmates only cook chips, or never wash up, or there are arguments over the fridge? It is important to find out what catering options there are.

    Some wings of residences are in noisy locations, like near the students union,or near communal thoroughfares where everyone coming back from the club at 2 am is talking loudly and laughing. If that would be bad, get them to give you a room on the quieter side of the building.

    Cleaning staff are saints. They put up with a lot, are surrogate mums, and shoulders to cry on. However Universities are mixed in how much awareness training they give to porters, security staff cleaners and other ancilliaries. Ask about this. You need these people to know why a person on the spectrum might be up tight about what is "normal" noise.

    Often halls are a mile, or several miles, or even "across town" from where the lectures are held. You might need to find out about travel to lectures - eg if you don't like crowded buses.

    To sum up - find out as much as you can beforehand and discuss the campous accommodation to find out what might affect you and how you get the best deal.

  • Yeah, I went to Uni as a mature student age 22. I initally done a HND in Music Technology and got a Distinction in 13 modules, Merit in 5 and passed 2. I then done a Music Technology Degree and got a 2:1, I wasnt far away from a first.

    Im definately dyslexic as I found out 3 weeks before I left Uni, and I'm in the process of being diagnosed for autism (Im 29 now).

    Moving out of home is terrifying full stop in my opinion. I moved out of home at 18, so I'd already done the hard thing before I went to uni. I think lonliness can get hold of a lot of people ar Uni. I had a very supportive girlfriend, but lots of financial pressures.

    I personally think Uni was one of the best times of my life. I've never managed to achieve great success of have the same sense of achievement in a career.