flamers, bashers and trolls

Hiya, 

Finally got a chance to sit down and think of a response. Thanks for the discussion Longman and everyone's contributions so far. To be transparent I think our perspective is pretty close to what Scorpion has said but we want to outline why. 

First thing is that we want the community to be inclusive and welcoming and also accept differences and challenges from users. After all, given the challenges a parent or a person on the spectrum may face it's important we are as patient and understanding as it's possible to be. 

We do understand how frustrating you, as the member's of the community, may find some difficult or troubling messages though and we'll be understanding of that. Whilst we will focus on being as calm as possible, and we'd love you to be as well, we know sometimes it's very difficult. 

There is a natural tendency to make judgements about some troubling behaviour as well and as Scorpion points out it's very easy to see posts as evidence for a wide variety of behaviour. One person may seem curt and insulting and this could be seen as deliberate or negative where it's simply a reflection of a communication style. 

In the last decade managing communities I've personally seen a lot of unpleasant behaviour but also the amazing opportunities presented by communities, to help each other grow and learn and be positive. What I've rarely seen, outside of some very strange moments, is organised campaigns of agression or insults. So I think it's far more likely to see individuals who may be problematic than organised actions, at least outside of inappropriate advertisers. 

So when dealing with these situations we always have to balance the needs of individuals against the needs of everyone in a community. We'd encourage people to show patience and use the feedback option, that way we can see problems and hope to head them off. 

Of course that doesn't mean that this service will work for everyone and when that's the case we'll do everything we can to find alternatives and work with people to address problems that make using this public, group service difficult. One thing it's worth noting is that non of those decisions happen without communication with people involved in disputes, just that this often happens away from the forum. 

So that's our approach but you did ask for advice Longman, about how individuals should react. I'd say give people the benefit of the doubt whilst also being honest and letting us know about problems. Try to avoid an assumption of a wider problem unless this becomes clear. 

And finally, in all my experience, it's the tone of a community that defines how most people interact with it. Like any place in the 'offline' world there's often a sense or understanding of what behaviour is expected or encouraged (though I recognise there may be unique challenges for people in sensing that). By posting in a way that's positive and helpful other people are encouraged to do the same and people with other intentions may be more likely to follow this direction, or at least are easier to reveal. 

So that's where I'd encourage people's energy, to continue to build a helpful, supportive service.

Damn, what can I say, I'm an old hippy at heart :) 

Hiya, 

Finally got a chance to sit down and think of a response. Thanks for the discussion Longman and everyone's contributions so far. To be transparent I think our perspective is pretty close to what Scorpion has said but we want to outline why. 

First thing is that we want the community to be inclusive and welcoming and also accept differences and challenges from users. After all, given the challenges a parent or a person on the spectrum may face it's important we are as patient and understanding as it's possible to be. 

We do understand how frustrating you, as the member's of the community, may find some difficult or troubling messages though and we'll be understanding of that. Whilst we will focus on being as calm as possible, and we'd love you to be as well, we know sometimes it's very difficult. 

There is a natural tendency to make judgements about some troubling behaviour as well and as Scorpion points out it's very easy to see posts as evidence for a wide variety of behaviour. One person may seem curt and insulting and this could be seen as deliberate or negative where it's simply a reflection of a communication style. 

In the last decade managing communities I've personally seen a lot of unpleasant behaviour but also the amazing opportunities presented by communities, to help each other grow and learn and be positive. What I've rarely seen, outside of some very strange moments, is organised campaigns of agression or insults. So I think it's far more likely to see individuals who may be problematic than organised actions, at least outside of inappropriate advertisers. 

So when dealing with these situations we always have to balance the needs of individuals against the needs of everyone in a community. We'd encourage people to show patience and use the feedback option, that way we can see problems and hope to head them off. 

Of course that doesn't mean that this service will work for everyone and when that's the case we'll do everything we can to find alternatives and work with people to address problems that make using this public, group service difficult. One thing it's worth noting is that non of those decisions happen without communication with people involved in disputes, just that this often happens away from the forum. 

So that's our approach but you did ask for advice Longman, about how individuals should react. I'd say give people the benefit of the doubt whilst also being honest and letting us know about problems. Try to avoid an assumption of a wider problem unless this becomes clear. 

And finally, in all my experience, it's the tone of a community that defines how most people interact with it. Like any place in the 'offline' world there's often a sense or understanding of what behaviour is expected or encouraged (though I recognise there may be unique challenges for people in sensing that). By posting in a way that's positive and helpful other people are encouraged to do the same and people with other intentions may be more likely to follow this direction, or at least are easier to reveal. 

So that's where I'd encourage people's energy, to continue to build a helpful, supportive service.

Damn, what can I say, I'm an old hippy at heart :)