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To complain or not to complain

pewpewmcdrew

"The Equality Act 2010 (the Act) states that it is unlawful to directly discriminate against a person who is accessing your service by treating them less favourably because of their protected characteristic."

www.equalityadvisoryservice.com/

That is exactly what has happened in my case with my past social worker. Even though I look after myself to the best of my ability, I have a facial disfiguration and she just wouldn't or couldn't look at me and would look at the ground whilst speaking to me. When I mentioned this to her she kindof looked at me after that but she would screw her face up and do this rapid-blinking with her eyes before looking at me which I really didn't appreciate.

At one point I was going through a really hard stage when I was having suicidal thoughts and she couldn't even look at me whilst discussing it with me. No words to describe that other than horrible.

There are people who are able to make eye contact with me (including non-professionals) so why couldn't she?

To be able to work with a professional I need to have a comfortable and relaxed rapport with them, and that rapport can't exist if they are going to be all cold and unfriendly towards me.

Having autism alone makes communication hard enough without people like her who can't even look at me and treat me with the respect I deserve.

Parents

  • Is there a possibility that she too may also have challenges with communication, especially when it came to eye contact?

    Did you see her make eye contact with other people easily?

    I understand that in those situations, you need to be around someone who makes you feel comfortable so you are able to put their trust in them.  Whether she was deliberately avoiding looking at you or not, it is clear you were not comfortable with this woman and as such, it might be a good thing that you no longer have to work with her.

  • in reply to Starbuck

    Although I sympathise with how you're feeling and the difficult situation you're in I agree with Starbuck's comments. The Equality Act works both ways and as such there are lots of people with ASD in all occupations and these people struggle with eye contact too. I tend to be a bit starey, which can make people feel uncomfortable but is something I can't help.

    Do you think you'd be able to develop any compassion for this woman and the challenges she faces with making eye contact with you? If not, and her presence is just going to frustrate you, it sounds like it would be a good idea to request another person.

  • in reply to NAS24859

    She has no problem looking at/smiling at/being friendly towards others.

    I have a new social worker.

    Myself, I make an effort to be friendly to and make eye contact with everyone I interact with.

  • in reply to pewpewmcdrew

    I suppose you need to think about why you want to complain and what it might achieve.  If it's for discrimination purposes, then you will need to provide evidence to back your case.  I'm not trying to sway your decision either way, but also consider what evidence you have and the stress caused from going ahead with a complaint or deciding against it.

    This is very personal to you, so it is important you feel that whatever you do, it is for the right reasons and will help you gain closure.

Reply
  • in reply to pewpewmcdrew

    I suppose you need to think about why you want to complain and what it might achieve.  If it's for discrimination purposes, then you will need to provide evidence to back your case.  I'm not trying to sway your decision either way, but also consider what evidence you have and the stress caused from going ahead with a complaint or deciding against it.

    This is very personal to you, so it is important you feel that whatever you do, it is for the right reasons and will help you gain closure.

Children
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