Yes, I've seen that before and can quite well identify with it. Like with the Christmas party example. When asked I told someone I'm not coming because I don't really like that sort of thing and that I've eventually figured out now that other people actually genuinely enjoy being there, talking for hours about nothing, drinking too much, wearing clothes that can't possibly be comfortable in a physical sense, dancing potentially, all that stuff. Apparently it's strange that it took me until now to figure out, but then many people find it just as unbelievable that I do not enjoy these things. Somehow their lack of understanding is normal though, because I'm weird, whereas mine is weird, because they are normal...
Same here. And, of course, if you don't go to the party, you're anti-social!
Luckily, having the bonus of being new, it seems people here are o.k. with this, they just genuinely think I miss out on something, and they are worried I'm only not coming because of too much Norwegian and try to reassure and persuade me.
I get that, too. People at work say to me 'Don't you feel you miss out by not having a relationship/friends?' No. They also don't understand how I can seemingly 'shut off' from social media when I'm at work. They're all messing with their phones, all day - even the older ones. I don't even take my phone to work. They find that absolutely astonishing. 'You've said that your natural community is online. So how can you not miss it during the day?' Because I'm surrounded by real people that I have to interact with. Such an irony, that! They're also surrounded by real people, but spend huge amounts of time interacting with people who aren't there! And then they wonder about my missing out by not having friends!
Oh dear, they think you are 'too Norwegian', whatever that is as a reason! How about the reason that not everyone enjoys a party?
This Christmas party analogy has reminded me of my corporate days when I did join in the drinking as it helped me to blend in. But my brain that is apparently unable to socialise, empathise or understand other people is the only one that spotted that there were a couple of people who didn't drink by choice and as such did not find the alcohol based activities much fun. So at my suggestion we started to socialise with different activities such as going bowling, going to the cinema, going to theatre shows, etc. The non-drinkers thought it was fantastic because they could finally do something that sought to include their needs rather than feeling peripheral and sloping off early because the conversation had become too drunken. Unfortunately I still struggled with the social aspect of those events too but at least felt part of it with a clear role as organiser.
Though I struggled I was pleased to have found something that could be more broadly enjoyed. When I read that autism meant you couldn't empathise and that this was a problem I was bewildered. Maybe I can't emphasise as such (the debatable point of this thread), but I can observe that people are uncomfortable when seemingly empathetic people are oblivious. I think that's a pretty good skill myself and one that is actually beneficial to the human social situation.