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Isolation

Julius3997

Hello, how do folks deal with isolation? There's not much groups around me. I've been lonely probably all my adult life, I don't know how to not be bitter and in pain about it. I do try and focus on my own projects and hobbies but it's distracting and everything feels pointless as it's just me experiencing it on my own and no one cares. I tried to join an lgbt group local to me but some of the group started icing me out maybe because I made a joke that was misunderstood, I said someone was an unc but I was being ironic as I was the same age as the person I just made fun of the term. I found the place too overstimulating and when I mentioned the difficulty with accessibility I was dismissed. I can't bring myself to go back. It feels like people always assume the worst about me, I find it really stressful and overwhelming talking to groups and I can't stay in those situations long because of anxiety.

I have done therapy a bunch before and recently trauma therapy. I'm just tired of going to things hoping I can connect with people and then getting nowhere. I can go weeks at a time talking to noone at all. I've got autistic burnout so I'm stuck at home a lot and limited capacity anyway. I went to the gp and mental health hub they just give me this website which is a good resource but it doesn't help me because websites don't hold my attention that well. I just feel hopeless because it's been years. It's very hard to not think about the fact that most people have interactions, relationships and social opportunities they take for granted. I have not much dignity trying to make friends as everyone else seems to have these connections and don't need to talk to me, and they don't give me much of a chance. I don't know what to do anymore, there is London autistic charity with some events, I am still really unhappy as it's the thought of waiting for these things to come up and all the past experiences that didnt go well. I played basketball with a group for three years but no one really was my friend there. I live in an estate with a lot of artists like myself yet I can't make any friends. I'm sorry for the vent but I am just very upset today I don't like being an autistic adult, there's *** all support, it's painful, I'm not suicidal but I'm not happy at all really. Again it might sound arrogant but I do feel I have a funny personality and something to offer but there's no way for me to express that in this world it's just me in my flat.

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    • I have lost hope in humanity as well xD over this time, I'm trying not to be cynical but yeah I just feel a bitterness towards people for being so unwelcoming, the in-group outgroup behavior and assumptions I see from people, also the only time people have wanted me around is when I've done something exceptional. It's like I have to be a high achiever to be noticed by people but I'm battling mental health and I'm disabled by autistic burnout more now. I wasn't as depressed for a while but it's coming back now because I just don't know how it's possible not to feel this way when you've been trying for a long time and you don't have the things you want in your life, I would like connections and friends and to do things and be relevant to other people, but there's no avenue for that, and I find it hard to be patient I guess.
  • in reply to Julius3997

    Julius3997, it seems clear that you could benefit from some support, as changing your situation on your own feels overwhelming. You don’t need to continue suffering without experiencing some joy in life. I’m not going to just give you website links, as there are plenty available here on this site, but I would strongly encourage you to get in contact with one or more of them, as that’s exactly what they were created for. Please take a look at them when you can, OK? You took the first step by posting on this website, so maybe you’re ready to take the next step?

  • in reply to lostmyway

    Thanks, to be honest website links could be helpful as I do find it overwhelming navigating this stuff just this website alone doesn't really help me as a signpost. Most of the services around me seem to be for children and their families, I'm in Bexley, a couple of groups no longer run I just try and go to a walking group sometime. I won't call Samaritans or these kind of services, I really don't like phone calls and especially trying to explain my issues to strangers I don't see how it helps I did call a mental health line once and the volunteer was actually horrible they tried to tell me I wasn't depressed etc so that's kind of stuck with me. I did see nuero affirming therapy that is something. I have done a bunch of therapy before like over a year 1 to 1, CBT, dbt, trauma therapy probably the most helpful.

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  • in reply to lostmyway

    Thanks, to be honest website links could be helpful as I do find it overwhelming navigating this stuff just this website alone doesn't really help me as a signpost. Most of the services around me seem to be for children and their families, I'm in Bexley, a couple of groups no longer run I just try and go to a walking group sometime. I won't call Samaritans or these kind of services, I really don't like phone calls and especially trying to explain my issues to strangers I don't see how it helps I did call a mental health line once and the volunteer was actually horrible they tried to tell me I wasn't depressed etc so that's kind of stuck with me. I did see nuero affirming therapy that is something. I have done a bunch of therapy before like over a year 1 to 1, CBT, dbt, trauma therapy probably the most helpful.

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