Hello, how do folks deal with isolation? There's not much groups around me. I've been lonely probably all my adult life, I don't know how to not be bitter and in pain about it. I do try and focus on my own projects and hobbies but it's distracting and everything feels pointless as it's just me experiencing it on my own and no one cares. I tried to join an lgbt group local to me but some of the group started icing me out maybe because I made a joke that was misunderstood, I said someone was an unc but I was being ironic as I was the same age as the person I just made fun of the term. I found the place too overstimulating and when I mentioned the difficulty with accessibility I was dismissed. I can't bring myself to go back. It feels like people always assume the worst about me, I find it really stressful and overwhelming talking to groups and I can't stay in those situations long because of anxiety.
I have done therapy a bunch before and recently trauma therapy. I'm just tired of going to things hoping I can connect with people and then getting nowhere. I can go weeks at a time talking to noone at all. I've got autistic burnout so I'm stuck at home a lot and limited capacity anyway. I went to the gp and mental health hub they just give me this website which is a good resource but it doesn't help me because websites don't hold my attention that well. I just feel hopeless because it's been years. It's very hard to not think about the fact that most people have interactions, relationships and social opportunities they take for granted. I have not much dignity trying to make friends as everyone else seems to have these connections and don't need to talk to me, and they don't give me much of a chance. I don't know what to do anymore, there is London autistic charity with some events, I am still really unhappy as it's the thought of waiting for these things to come up and all the past experiences that didnt go well. I played basketball with a group for three years but no one really was my friend there. I live in an estate with a lot of artists like myself yet I can't make any friends. I'm sorry for the vent but I am just very upset today I don't like being an autistic adult, there's *** all support, it's painful, I'm not suicidal but I'm not happy at all really. Again it might sound arrogant but I do feel I have a funny personality and something to offer but there's no way for me to express that in this world it's just me in my flat.
