2 weeks ago. Just 2 weeks. I was waking up in my own bed in my own home, eating my breakfast, tidying my room, watching youtube.
This was the last day I would ever see her.
She came back from her walk and looked at me. There was something in her eyes. An hour later -
‘Do you love me?’
‘No’
What followed was without a doubt the biggest autistic meltdown i’ve ever had. I was literally fighting against reality. We struggled all around the house, the living room, the kitchen, the stairs, the landing. I just couldnt stop screaming or fighting against her. She tried to hold me still using her weight but i just couldnt stop.
Last memory I have of her is of her being taken away from me. I will never see her again.
Now, I’m sat on the edge of a folding bed at my parents’ house. Name is already off the tenancy. I’m taking medicationand awaiting a mental health team. I’m crying from the moment I wake to the moment i sleep. My whole life gone in a matter of hours. Nothing to look forward to but i future of loneliness and misery.
Just 2 weeks ago.
How can i possibly live with this? It’s impossible. God i need help.
