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Goals in life

Literal_Joe

So, I've had a bit of a realisation today, and wanted to know if anyone else aligns with the thought process, as follows ...

I was kind of always of the view that you're born, you live your life, and then you die. Obvious and uncontroversial you may say, but that still leaves the age old question of "what's the meaning of life" 

The answer to that is essentially what you make it, but there's more to it I think ...

The theory I've been mulling over today is life goals. I think you have to kind of always have a goal that you're moving towards. That can be whatever you want it to be, be that marriage, children, a particular job/career, to live in a certain area, drive a certain car etc etc - But what happens after you've met that goal?? This is kind of where I think I am at the moment, because I don't think that I have any goals.

A friend of mine is struggling after retiring from his 30 year career, and I wasn't understanding why. But actually I think it's because he's reached his goal (retirement), but doesn't have another goal to replace it with. It's a bit strange to think that you work for that long, striving to reach the end point, yet, when it arrives you then feel lost

So back to the goal. I'm starting to feel like this is a very important thing, whatever that goal may be. Almost like you're in any kind of race, chasing after those ahead of you and aiming for the finish line.

Here in life though, assuming we don't class death as the finish line, I think we always need that next thing that we are chasing after 

Parents

  • I've never had a life plan. My relationships were all accidental. My learning, outside school, was mainly for enjoyment. I once took two A levels to achieve a position at work, and I took courses to improve my my ability to do my work as a trade union representative, but they, too, were also for enjoyment. The jobs I took were because I wanted to do that work, not to advance my career. My current goal is to move from Great Britain to Northern Ireland, to be closer to a beloved friend. Even my writing was for the enjoyment of creating, not to seek fame (which would horrify me) and fortune - just as well, as wirting very rarely achieves that!

    Martin said:
    "Where do you see yourself in five years time?"

    I've never faced this question. Back in the 80s, my then husband and I went in front of the same promotion panel. he was asked this question but they asked me when I intended to start a family, which both amused and angered me, because it was discriminatory when they asked us such different questions.Besides, I always hated the coy 'a family' when they meant children, as though one couldn't be a family without them.

    As I got on at work, I met many people who only looked for their next promotion. They were generally disliked by everyone as we all knew they weren't interested in what they did but just wanted to use what they were doing to get on. I knew one guy who returned when he'd been retired for 6 months because he didn't know what to do with himself. Another couple had always wanted to retire to the south coast of England but, when they did, hated it because the town was full of retired people and they missed their family and friends back in Birmingham. So often, it seemed to me, people didn't think through their goals or found them disappointing because they had invested so much of their time living for the future that they never enjoyed what they had in the present.

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  • I've never had a life plan. My relationships were all accidental. My learning, outside school, was mainly for enjoyment. I once took two A levels to achieve a position at work, and I took courses to improve my my ability to do my work as a trade union representative, but they, too, were also for enjoyment. The jobs I took were because I wanted to do that work, not to advance my career. My current goal is to move from Great Britain to Northern Ireland, to be closer to a beloved friend. Even my writing was for the enjoyment of creating, not to seek fame (which would horrify me) and fortune - just as well, as wirting very rarely achieves that!

    Martin said:
    "Where do you see yourself in five years time?"

    I've never faced this question. Back in the 80s, my then husband and I went in front of the same promotion panel. he was asked this question but they asked me when I intended to start a family, which both amused and angered me, because it was discriminatory when they asked us such different questions.Besides, I always hated the coy 'a family' when they meant children, as though one couldn't be a family without them.

    As I got on at work, I met many people who only looked for their next promotion. They were generally disliked by everyone as we all knew they weren't interested in what they did but just wanted to use what they were doing to get on. I knew one guy who returned when he'd been retired for 6 months because he didn't know what to do with himself. Another couple had always wanted to retire to the south coast of England but, when they did, hated it because the town was full of retired people and they missed their family and friends back in Birmingham. So often, it seemed to me, people didn't think through their goals or found them disappointing because they had invested so much of their time living for the future that they never enjoyed what they had in the present.

Children
  • in reply to Alexa
    Alexa said:
    So often, it seemed to me, people didn't think through their goals or found them disappointing because they had invested so much of their time living for the future that they never enjoyed what they had in the present.

    So true.

  • in reply to Alexa

    On the few occaissions I've been asked that question, my reply has always been 'sitting in your chair'.

    I dont' and never have had goals, aims or ambitions, for me being asked what they are, or told I have to set some are some of the biggest and deepest heart sink moments. Why do I have to achieve something? Why can't I just enjoy life and see where the path takes me? So far it's taken me some really interesting places, I like who I am and I don't feel the need for a measuring stick to compare myself against and I do resist efforts of others to make me use them. A lot of it is about social status and have many big shiney things you have, things that just don't interest me and to me are pretty meaningless, what am I meant to do with it all, it's not like I can take it with me when I die and whats the point of being the richest person in the graveyard?

    When you've climbed to the top of the mountain, where do you go next? Surely you can only go back down again?

    I'm happy being a human being not a human doing

  • in reply to Alexa

    I like a lot of what you've said here. I find the part about the retired couple achieving their goal, but then being disappointed, really interesting.

    I guess we do have competing issues within our own lives, but living in the moment is certainly something that's often talked about