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Food smell sensitivity

lostmyway

Last night was awful, as I was overwhelmed by the tangy and pungent aroma of the dish my brother was cooking. I usually go to bed around 9 p.m., since I’m older, have a heart condition, and need to rest in a peaceful environment. Unfortunately, he finishes work at 7 p.m., gets home around 7:15, and sometimes starts cooking one of his specialty meals around 7:30 or even closer to 8, from a ready-to-cook box delivered earlier in the day. The problem is that for some reason, the very strong smell seemed to linger all night and even into today, which drove me up the wall because I simply cannot relax when I sense something like this. For regular meals it’s usually fine, as the smell dies down within a reasonable time after cooking. I even opened my bedroom windows as wide as possible, which helped, but I could still smell it enough to cause significant stress, and it worried me because I have heart failure and don’t need undue stress. I even used a face mask from a box I originally purchased during the COVID crisis, which helped somewhat, but I still felt stressed because it seemed I was being forced to do something unnatural.

Anyway, I was restless most of the night and decided to have a serious talk with my brother. He was very understanding and promised he would avoid cooking at that hour again, at least not one of those exotic meals. He suggested that in the future he could cook much earlier when I’m up, which seems reasonable, but it depends on how long the smell lingers, as I don’t want to go to bed with a pungent aroma in the air. I think the main issue was the change in routine that unsettled me. Normally, he comes home from work, has a quick meal, and goes to bed early to wake up at 6 a.m., and I’m used to that. This time, though, it was an unexpected event, and the particular dish was overwhelming for me. It might have been more tolerable if I’d been up and about, but lying in bed made it worse because you want to relax and rest but feel like you’re not being allowed to. I also want to clarify that I’ve never been diagnosed as autistic, so maybe it’s not autism that caused this but some other kind of issue—I really can’t be sure. The ironic thing is that my brother says he has a poor sense of smell so can't really appreciate my difficulties.

Anyway, it's good to get it off my chest.


Parents

  • I can really relate to this as food smells genuinely cause me huge distress and I have an elaborate routine to avoid cooking smells getting into the rest of the house, and then to remove them afterwards, which takes up a considerable amount of time and energy each day. Food smells in the bedroom and late at night would be unbearable for me, and indeed I had a nervous breakdown when living in a shared house where my room was above the kitchen, with people cooking at all times of day and night. 

    I do have an air purifier but personally find it does little for cooking smells, although having it running in the bedroom, which I try to make a "safe space" does give some illusion of reassurance at least.

    Do you have an extractor fan above your cooker or in the kitchen? We had an extractor fan in the kitchen, in the corner of the ceiling above the cooker, for years, and it really did nothing to satisfactorily extract the cooking smells (or steam). Last year we replaced this with a large powerful cooker hood, that is bigger than our cooker and the difference is amazing. I can really, really recommend that you look into getting one if you don't already have one. I would go as far as to say is has been life changing and has taken away a lot of stress for me. Also, does you brother keep the kitchen door when he cooks? Another thing is I always keep the kitchen door closed to prevent any food smells from going into the rest of the house, or at least reduce it. If your brother were to use a cooker extractor hood (a powerful one) and keep the kitchen door closed when cooking it really should help stop the smell from drifting to your bedroom.

    Another thing I could recommend, was if there any essential oils that you like, (pure ones, not fragrance oils) then a few drops of one of them on a hanky that you can smell when the food smell is bad, might help to calm you, as it's at least a smell that you have some control over.

  • in reply to I can't seem to choose a username

    Hi, .

    There’s a cooking hood above the hob, but it’s decades old and doesn’t seem to do much. In fact, it’s probably making the smell problem worse, since the filter hasn’t been changed in years (they’ve likely stopped making replacements as it’s so old). Lately, I’ve noticed that when I pass by, it gives off a stale scent of old odours that have been trapped for ages.

    Generally, when my brother cooks one of those boxed meals, I can put up with it, but for some reason on this occasion, even though I tried to ignore it, it really got to me. Maybe it was because he started cooking too late, and the smell from this particular recipe lingered much longer than usual, making it even harder to cope with. What I want to do is remove the old filter from the hood to see whether that makes a difference, which doesn’t seem to be too involved, but I will see.

    I just bought an air purifier that arrived yesterday, but hearing they're not that effective for the kitchen has put a bit of a damper on the idea. Still, maybe it will help. 

    As for the kitchen door, well, there isn’t one and hasn’t been for years. I think my parents had it removed because it was getting in the way. I’m not sure, but obviously that makes a big difference to how much kitchen smells spread through the house. I might contact a local bespoke contractor to see whether they can make one specifically for my kitchen opening.It's going to be expensive, but it might be worth the outlay.

    I'm sorry to haer about your stress over cooking smells when you lived in a shared house with other people. I can relate to this somewhat because many years ago I moved into a flat in Ealing with three other people and one of the problems for me was that two girls sometimes went out in the evenong and on ocassion brought back a chap or two they had met and to be hospitble, they would sometimes cook for these gentlemen. As they were generally not of English origin, the girls would cook food they were used to which involved very pungent, spicey, saucy food which when you're in bed and have to get up for work is the last thing you want. Needless to say, I did not stay in that flat for very long and after about a year moved back home.

    I'm not automatically assuming this sensory issue is because I'm on the spectrum, since I've never been assessed for autism, and for all I know it could be an anxiety or OCD problem. I’m not sure. The problem is, experts say signs of autistic tendencies must be present very early in life to form the basis for a diagnosis, but at 77 years old, I really can’t remember what I was like back then, and both my parents are dead. I could ask my sister, who’s a couple of years younger than me, but how much could I rely on what would have been a child’s opinion about my behaviour?

  • in reply to lostmyway
    lostmyway said:
    There’s a cooking hood above the hob, but it’s decades old and doesn’t seem to do much. In fact, it’s probably making the smell problem worse, since the filter hasn’t been changed in years (they’ve likely stopped making replacements as it’s so old).

    It might be worth checking what sort of filter it is. If it's metal, it can be washed in warm soapy water. If it's one of the old textile ones, it will need replacing. Check out this site, as it often has spares for old equipment.

    Failing that, replacing the cooker hood might be cheaper than putting in a door. Or you can get quotes for both and choose, depending on the cost.

  • in reply to Alexa

    Thanks for the advice Alexa, I will look into that.

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