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I find it really hard how my communication style differs from others

NAS84324

I find that when engaging with people, I am quite direct and genuine and like to communicate upfront. Most people are not like this- people seem to be primed to avoid conflict which means silences, ambiguous hints etc. I never know if I am doing the correct thing because I am just saying things as it is and hoping the other person says it as it is. I am tired of constantly guessing what others think.

I don't use AI much, just to ask AI what others think by inputting different situations. I find it very hard when I can't work out what someone thinks.

I also worry I extend too much grace where I tend to offer empathy alongside distress. I get very dysregulated and panic but when calm I can show a balanced perspective.

I tend to communicate with a lot of text so people see it and think damn. It is just my thing to communicate with walls of text and I feel like I am always trying to limit myself. It hurts and is confusing I don't know.

Parents
  • Hi  
    I just wanted to reply to your post because your description of how you communicate is as I understand it incredibly normal for many autistic people, including myself.
    Everything you mentioned—valuing direct honesty over hidden hints, the exhaustion of constantly guessing what people mean, feeling hyper-empathy to the point of panic, and naturally writing in "walls of text" to be precise—is standard autistic communication.
    I don't think that you are doing anything wrong. You are just speaking a different social language than the people around you. I hope knowing that you aren't alone in this brings you some comfort.
Reply
  • Hi  
    I just wanted to reply to your post because your description of how you communicate is as I understand it incredibly normal for many autistic people, including myself.
    Everything you mentioned—valuing direct honesty over hidden hints, the exhaustion of constantly guessing what people mean, feeling hyper-empathy to the point of panic, and naturally writing in "walls of text" to be precise—is standard autistic communication.
    I don't think that you are doing anything wrong. You are just speaking a different social language than the people around you. I hope knowing that you aren't alone in this brings you some comfort.
Children
  • in reply to Phased

    Thank you. I feel so lonely though with how people go silent or ambiguous to avoid conflict. I am better at seeing things from others' perspectives though and why they might have done that, it is just that I would not have done that which is why I find it so difficult.

    And yes when I write a lot of text to clarify, people don't read it and it is like I have to summarise and I feel like nobody sees me for me.

    I feel like I am pretty good at analysing every angle of different situations which others don't do. I feel like stuff is always so much more important to me. I always feel things at x1000. 

    Thanks though.

  • in reply to Phased

    Hi  , I was about to reply but, when I saw what    had written, that says what I was thinking too and, like your post, is very nicely written.