Feeling shame about being childish

"But I just worry about the future sometimes and what I’m gonna do if I get in a relationship (not planning on it at all currently lol) but I do really just worry what that person might think of me and I’d never wanna make anyone feel uncomfortable or weird because of this. And I don’t want to live my life worrying about making other people uncomfortable, especially with something so random like this. "

Honestly, and I'm not just saying this as a cliche, they'll love you more for what you deem childish, and those who judge you for that won't be worth it as you'll feel as if you're drowning by been with them.

I exchanged plushies and Hello Kitty themed letters with my ex, I wish I did more. It was the only time I ever felt valued in my life. Equally, a few years back in a meltdown I sold a lot of my Pokemon cards due to me thinking I had to "man up". I've spent a lot of time kicking myself lately that I sold them.

Well, I suppose we people who sleep with our teddies are the minority, technically- but not by much! 

But I think even if it was unusual, we shouldn't feel bad about it. Life can be hard and full of challenges. Anything that helps us and does no harm is surely worth keeping.

Societal norms be damned!

Hi Cody, 

I am 73, male and recently diagnosed. I do have a teddy, have a room in the house were I can feel secure and relaxed. I have done a lot of hobbies, some more associated with men. like model railways, stamp collecting; others with women, like knitting which was taught to both boys and girls in the 1950s and cooking. So, as it was so "normal" in my upbringing I have never felt particularly bad or embarrassed. For me I think I just felt as entitled to be me, in my lifestyle, as long as I wasn't hurting anyone. You are entitled to be you, too!

You should enjoy your toys. There is nothing wrong with having hobbies and it's not hurting anyone.  

I only stopped in the last few years, until this comment I thought I was in the minority 

I think from experience just be yourself, don’t change.  Those who are worth being part of your life will accept you for who you are.  As a young neurodivergent person I was often told by some I was mature for my age but by others I was immature.  You have the things that make you happy which is one of the most important things in life. 

Hi im [edited by moderator to remove identifying details] im 35, having trouble making friends because my ex best friend dumped me after 30 years of being kind, wanting to make friends with people who will love and support me for being me and do what I want to do and to have the same interests. 

Hi Cody. I'm 73 and only gave away my teddy family a couple of years ago. I had a huge clearout and think this is an old age thing as I know others who've done this. I think Lotus  is spot on - there is a huge difference between childish and child-like and you definitely do not appear the former. Child-like is a charming trait for both sexes and speaks volumes about kindness and sensitivity.

I had an awful childhood, but made up by looking after myself in later life, buying myself Christmas and birthday presents, having teddies and toys I longed for but never had. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this! I still buy kids sweets, eat pudding before dinner when I feel like it [I was criticised for this in a restaurant years ago but I was paying the bill, so what?].

Keep on saying to yourself that truism, 'you can't please everyone.' - no one can! When someone loves you they will accept all of you - and be charmed by traits like kindness, lack of aggression and willingness to think about how others feel. Many men [and women] buy toys they never had as kids, train paraphernalia and model cars for example. If you want things and can afford them, it's your money. Your friends accept you as you are - you need to make a firm decision to accept yourself and stop feeling guilty. Every time guilt comes up, say, 'no' to yourself. 

Hi, I'm 38 married woman. My bag and closet and full of dolls and lego blocks. I also shared here my collection. My husband knows, that I have some dolls, but doesn't know, how many. He doesn't know about lego. I also feel some shame sometimes,  but I'm also happy about my husband accepting the fact that I have dolls. They are my safe space and my friends. I have no human friends, only one friend for 20 years but we hardly see each other, because living far away. Also talking rarely. My husband was very much interested with my experiments with magnets, kind of rolled his eyes when he saw the dolls, but said ok, it's yours. I think, that having a little secret, that does not hurt anyone is nothing bad. And i find saying that "you can't please everyone" a good thing. Sometimes I feel shame fir spending money on these things. But I always make sure to buy, when I have money secured for basic needs and I tell myself: if people don't see anything bad in buying cigarettes,  alcohol, or a lot of clothes and shoes, spens money on parties and travelling, then why should I stop myself from buying a doll or a lego set?

Hi Cody,

Around 40% of adults sleep with a teddy, it's quite common. My room is full of teddies, and I'm 37

My best piece of advice is for you to just be you. True friends will accept you as you and when the time is right for you to have a partner they won't care about the teddies. They will see them as part of you.

Im 42 and never intend to "grow up" although I mask alot im happy just being me

You're not childish, you're childlike. Childish denotes negative traits like petulance or playing silly tricks on others, while childlike conveys positive qualities such as trustfulness and openness.

When you meet someone who is the right person to be a partner for you, they should understand and be curious about your interests.

I'm a woman in my sixties and I like playing video games, including Sims 4, which some people think is "inappropriate" for my age and gender, but I don't care. Do what makes you happy.

I’m 52, I have raised a family and had a responsible job. I sleep with 2 teddies every night and often sit with them when I’m watching tv in the day time. I do a few other things that aren’t exactly adult. If you can be yourself and you’re not harming anyone else it’s okay. 

I know how you feel, honestly. I'm 30, and I try my best to act mature, but I just can't help feeling a little childish. It does feel somewhat embarrassing and I do worry people think less of me for it.

I wouldn't worry about teddies and cartoons and stuff, though. My generation in particular is obsessed with stuff from their childhoods and wear those obsessions on their sleeves 9/10.