Does anyone here ever get lost for hours upon hours in thoughts of petty revenge? I always have done. Nothing horrible like attacks or anything awful. More intricate than that. More psychological. I.e. I'm ignoring my exes birthday this year for the first time in 3 years, we always exchange messages, but I've tried really hard to rebuild a friendship that they initially agreed upon with me. I just can't give energy or let alone money to people who won't be in my corner anymore. I know it'll hurt her a lot...but I can't give my soul to people anymore.
I mentioned a few months ago on here about ending a friendship. I can't lie, deep down, I dislike that person. I've tried so hard to get past it and I can't. I have thought long and hard about my future actions. For the longest time I was deliberately ignoring them back, and I'll do that again soon. But my head keeps telling me "surely you want that *expletive* to feel how you felt? why are you letting them get away with wronging you?". I just can't move on. I can't be the bigger man. I never have been able to. I carry grudges but they all feel very justified.
