• Replies 9 replies
  • Subscribers 12 subscribers
  • Views 385 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Selective Mutism

P0w3rPlut0

Hi all,

I am in a sticky situation at work and developed selective mutism, I can't speak to anyone I don't know due to an ongoing health and safety issue.

My internal panic and anxiety is horrendous when facing a customer.  I try to speak, but can't, by which time said customer has stormed off, muttering rude things.

One regular customer, actually said don't talk to it as it doesn't speak to her children right in front of me. 

Yes she said it...not her

Which has compounded the issue, so today I have been so stressed I actually called the Samartians.

Im dreading going to work, as I think it will just get worse.  

Rarely customers ask questions but when they do now, I freeze.

My job is just stacking shelves and collating customer online orders, so don't actually often get asked questions by regulars, but tourists have descended on our seaside town and it's got seriously more likely.

Management haven't said anything, and at present seem to have ignored it or are oblivious.

Can anyone help with my approaching them to explain what's going on.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

I am dealing with health and safety issue step-by-step using grievance, and whistle blowing procedure, but that takes time to generate each report, complaint and receive replies.

Thanks for reading. 

  • in reply to P0w3rPlut0

    You are entirely welcome. I carry my card in my wallet, it takes a bit longer to get it out to show, but I have only used it once in about five years.

  • in reply to Martin

    Thank you for your advice, I've purchased a badge and a pin on type of alert card.  I can't wear lanyards, I find them too itchy.  But pinning g something g on my work jacket may help. 

  • Carrying some sort of card saying that you may be unable to speak might be useful. Something that you can show customers. As well as the obvious benefit, just having the card available could take some of the pressure to perform away, so that you may find that you are able to speak more often. I was selectively mute as a child, on and off, and though this has not been a problem for me since, I now carry an autism alert card (it does say that in certain circumstances I might be unable to communicate effectively), just in case.

  • Hi P0w3rPlut0,

    I am really sorry to hear about struggles and the awful things customers have said to you. I am glad you were able to reach out to the Samaritans when you needed too. 

    You may find it helpful to read through our guide on what support you can get in work: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/employment/what-support-can-i-get-at-work and reasonable adjustments that can be made: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/employment/what-are-reasonable-adjustments-and-when-can-they. Management should be there to support you and help you anyway they can.

    If you are able to and if it would be helpful could you speak to your GP, maybe through an online form and explain that situation to see if you can get any help from them. 

    I also hope the replies from the community will help. 

    Please take care of yourself.

    Best wishes,

    Alice Mod

  • Selective mutism is part of the reason I dread finding s job again because I'd rather avoid having nasty management put me in such a place of anxity again or like you said customers but sadly most jobs that let you work on your own are either highly skilled, low pay/hours or both Disappointed

  • I’m sorry to read what happened to you, some people are vile, it makes me sad that people can be so mean. I have no advice for you, I get selective mutism when I am angry or very upset so it doesn’t get noticed by random strangers.

  • That is truly terrible, what a nasty person to say that and teach their child too. 

    Do you think you can wear a sunflower lanyard? I don't know what your work allows, but you could write on the back that you sometimes can't talk but your understanding is fine? (Asking permission to wear one might be a way of bringing up your difficulties and the abusive customers?)

    If you can, can you still interact in anyway, maybe you could point them in the right direction and give them a thumbs up? But I understand that might be too much too. 

    So sorry the world can be so cruel sometimes, you've as much right as anyone else. Maybe if you are finding it tough at the moment, can your GP help? Even for talking therapies? 

    Best of luck, wishing you calm thoughts.

  • I'm sorry you are going through this. It's awful how people treat others without respect and teach that their kids.

    I'm always stressed when a customer comes or passes nearby and I fear they will ask me. Regular customers know already that asking me is pointless. I can't really advise anything. Maybe try some sick leave and try to take a therapy for this issue? I remember having heart palpitations, headaches and stomach issues when I worked in call center. The uncertainty,  when would someone call and with what problem was draining.