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Daughter (13yrs) & Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria

Galaxy42

Hi all.

I'm looking for some advice, or direction towards some advice.

My daughter is 13 and is suffering within her personal relationships with perceived rejection and being unable to view others behaviours as anything other than criticism. She has self harmed in the past & we are currently under CAMHS who are trying to help, but she is very resistant to CBT and we're not really getting anywhere.

As an example, today one of her friends who keeps a list of her friends tagged on a social media account & lists them in order of how close she is to them. Today she has rearranged this list and my daughter has been moved from 3rd best friend to 4th. Now, listing you friends in order is obviously pretty unpleasant & a disaster waiting to happen, but my daughter has taken this as being hated. If someone keeps a list of their top 10 friends and you're 4th, they clearly don't hate you.

That's just one example, but regularly she comes home from school upset because something has been said that she seems to mentally blow out of proportion.

Both myself & my daughter are Autistic & I am a 52 year old man who has got to this stage of life with only one genuine friend because I have pushed them away due to suffering with RSD myself and I really don't want her to follow the same path as me, but I can already see her heading that way.

So, does anyone know of any resource we could use or anything aimed towards young teenage girls that I can get her to read to help with this.

I don't want her to feel that I am dismissing her feelings, but also want her to take control of her feelings so she can process them in a factual way.

I'm lost to be honest, and pretty scared.

Parents

  • Hi Galaxy42, and thanks for reaching out.  I'm sure you remember, as we all do, how difficult being a teenager can be, especially an autistic one!  And with things like social media it can make things a lot more difficult for teens these days.  Your daughter is lucky to have a supportive parent like you who is trying to help and support her.  I am sure our community members who have been through something similar will have great advice for you.

    In the meantime, you might like to have a look at our resources for autistic teenagers along with your daughter.  This page contains guides and support for autistic teens, including "setting yourself up for success" and "understanding others" which may help your daughter to understand her own and others' emotions and actions better.  This page also lists resources including books and websites that you and your daughter might find useful overall.

    We also have a guidance page on friendships for parents and carers of autistic children, which includes information on understanding emotions and conflict resolution.

    As well as this, you might find the Autism Services Directory useful.  It allows you to search by area for support tailored specifically for autistic people such as counselling and therapies, or social and extracurricular clubs that may be of interest to your daughter.

    I hope these links are useful to you.  Best wishes to yourself and your daughter going forward, and please do get back in touch if you'd like and let us know how things are going.

Reply

  • Hi Galaxy42, and thanks for reaching out.  I'm sure you remember, as we all do, how difficult being a teenager can be, especially an autistic one!  And with things like social media it can make things a lot more difficult for teens these days.  Your daughter is lucky to have a supportive parent like you who is trying to help and support her.  I am sure our community members who have been through something similar will have great advice for you.

    In the meantime, you might like to have a look at our resources for autistic teenagers along with your daughter.  This page contains guides and support for autistic teens, including "setting yourself up for success" and "understanding others" which may help your daughter to understand her own and others' emotions and actions better.  This page also lists resources including books and websites that you and your daughter might find useful overall.

    We also have a guidance page on friendships for parents and carers of autistic children, which includes information on understanding emotions and conflict resolution.

    As well as this, you might find the Autism Services Directory useful.  It allows you to search by area for support tailored specifically for autistic people such as counselling and therapies, or social and extracurricular clubs that may be of interest to your daughter.

    I hope these links are useful to you.  Best wishes to yourself and your daughter going forward, and please do get back in touch if you'd like and let us know how things are going.

Children
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