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Getting a diagnosis kinda unlocked something I think

Taken2Heart

So I got my diagnosis over a month ago.

I'm currently off work with work related stress and currently had early concilliation (I got my certificate to go to tribunal and a solicitor is drafting my et1 form). It's for disability discrimination and continuing course of conduct among a litany of other failures. But it isn't about that...

I grew up where I never fit in. I can't count now how many memories I have that hurt or crushed me. You could say there's a great deal of trauma there. 

Getting a diagnosis, as I process it, did a number of things. Firstly I gave up on myself. Not to the darkest corners of my mind but more that whatever load I was carrying - it meant I could simply stop. And I did. I didn't know what days we were in, I stopped looking after myself and I just stopped functioning. 

Because those memories came back - were talking childhood, college, friendships long gone. All roiled into also my work situation 

Others would say I'm licking my wounds but really I think I was simply angry. Had anyone known earlier alot of the issues would never have happened. But the worst part was - so many people past and present simply thought it was ok to treat someone so poorly who was trying to fit in and that, frankly, hits the hardest. I have detested bullies and strive to be the person I needed growing up.

I've not picked up my mental 'sword' yet. I haven't dusted off my jacket and walked out of my proverbial personal hell. But it gave me some clarity. 

The more I read up on what I am all about (divergent) I realise it's starts to become a roadmap to how people will react to me. And being the stubborn person I can be.. that roadmap will have only one useful thing - not for me to shrink or hold back. It's telling me that I don't fit in that box or need to walk into a room of naysayers. That's how I feel currently anyways.

I am allowed to protect my peace.

I am tired. Angry. And somehow little by little a bit of a spark is happening. I have nothing to owe and (hidden) social rules work for the those who want to hide. Or isolate people who are different.

So yes, a diagnosis can help. It can also dismantle any illusion your world has fortified itself around you. It's not a cure all. But it's a start.  It's early days for me I think - too much to process. 

A quote I've recently seen I thought I'd share:  

"But here's the thing about people like her..

..They don't break like glass. They break like bone. They heal, they knit themselves back together, and they come back stronger than before. The scars are just part of the structure now."

Parents

  • Congratulations on your diagnosis!

    Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation - I've linked to an article below about this.

    As for many others, my diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting, rather than a conclusion with instant solutions.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months, and others covering the kinds of support that you can access. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistic people

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. My counselling, for example, focused on how my experiences of, and late diagnosis of, autism have impacted me.

    Before arranging anything, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

Reply

  • Congratulations on your diagnosis!

    Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation - I've linked to an article below about this.

    As for many others, my diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting, rather than a conclusion with instant solutions.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months, and others covering the kinds of support that you can access. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistic people

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. My counselling, for example, focused on how my experiences of, and late diagnosis of, autism have impacted me.

    Before arranging anything, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

Children
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