My autism assessment psychologist laughed at me

I couldn't do any of the things you describe, I think some people have technical brains and others don't, they might have different skills, or be generalists and able to do a bit of everything. I don't it has so much to do with intelligence as with access to the right tools.

I've met people with very high IQ scores, but are hopeless at being a functional human being, it's like thier brains are in another world.  

Hi kitty 

I have recently read the autistic survival guide to therapy by Steph jones. She recounts some pretty awful experiences of therapy and offers some useful insights. You may find this interesting. 

when I got my doctor to refer me to a specialist, I was able to see my records and saw that in the referral letter the doctor said I had possible lower intelligence which hurt a bit. It hurt because while I'm not so naïve to think I'm smart, but I know that I'm smart when it comes to resolving technical issues and learning how to use and understand a pc, laptop, gaming console and cameras.

I remember that when I got my first computer I had no idea what I was doing, and over the years I learn how to problem solve, repair, upgrade and build my own pc. Then I learn how to design a website just by copy and pasting other peoples html and I learnt HTML and CSS without a book and I learn PHP from a book within a week and was able to design my own website in code. Then my last interest was photography where I learn all the technical way to take photos and even helped my ex gf who I was with at the time to learn the technical aspect of photography, like HDR, exposure blending, time laps, focus stacking and how to create special effects using deliberate movement of the cameras and then using a flash to freeze the subject in the image.

Now I currently have no interest other than playing my video games.

 KittyMetal Kitty, If I were face-to-face with you. You would see just how sympathetic someone who has been through the same sort of thing is.Im so sorry this “therapist “ (likely a narc) was towards you. Im not going to make your VERY important thread about me. I will do my own when my brains up to it. Im with you all the way and will listen ‘til the cows come ‘ome.

If you use ‘pals’ be very, very diligent with paper trails. The one I used, was in the same building as the abuser(s) - and at one point, after flat out lying that I’d phoned them. To gaslighting me saying “MH can play tricks on your mind” “maybe you thought that you had called” A so called “solicitor” working for pals said, as he distanced himself from the word “Ive got a friend in America who uses that word often” “just explain to me what gaslighting is?”. These freaks are like open books, due to their semantic memory being at odds with their episodic memory, which often causes them to tell on themselves.

That lian fellow who gave you that pointless link, gave you surface-level sympathy. But, blatantly minimised your ordeal, and it must have made your blood boil. Reading so far, you have some top-drawer people fighting your corner, so Im rooting for you. tc

That was very unprofessional of her to do that.  

This sounds like very poor behaviour to me. Regards the autism, I was also quite late with my diagnosis (44) , but found it very helpful to understand my core (values etc), which now helps me to explain this to those around me.

I can see how this reaction from the therapist would have upset you, and no doubt from that point on and for the rest of that session you would have naturally disengaged 

That sounds cruel and unnessacary. How was she even qualified as a psychologist? Clearly she must know what she was doing was hurting you.

I've had to deal with a couple bad psychologists myself. I had one that kept dodging questions and stalling for time. I got frustrated with them and wrote a complaint and they acted like I was the problem. It still leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth...

Hi KittyMetal,

I will contact you by email regarding this matter.

Thanks

Suzanne Mod

You're welcome, I wish you a successful outcome

Hi Iain,

In my posts I wrote that she was not "using humour" when she laughed at me. This is what happened:

Me: "I had a very traumatic incident as a child (I described a personal story in detail)"

Psychologist: "Ha ha ha ha!"

How is that "using humour"??? She laughed AT me, not with me. She did not tell a joke or say something witty (which would be inappropriate). She laughed at me. Human trauma is not funny and she did it TWICE. She also knew I was bullied in junior school when kids laughed at me for being "diffetent". I don't need your inapplicable link. I understand psychotherapy very well. Before becoming a researcher, I was a licenced clinical psychotherapist who also trained post-graduate interns. If the laughing psychologist was my intern she would have been sacked immediately for gross misconduct. I did that twice with interns I had.

Your pessimistic view of having a successful complaint is also incorrect. If you read what I wrote you would see that after I described what happened to me the GMC told me I have enough evidence for a complaint and strongly advised me to make a formal complaint with the psychological regulatory body the HPCP. I then contacted the HCPC to double check making a complaint. I was told I have a valid complaint and I should file a formal complaint about seriously unprofessional behaviour by the psychologist. I then was given instructions to make the complaint. Why would they tell me I have a valid complaint if I did not? These are both high level regulatory bodies advising me (not someone like you who knows nothing about my case but decides to tell me incorrect information without reading my written information first).

Also, I wrote here on the forum that my MP is helping me directly. He gave me details to make another formal complaint that he can oversee and he will contact the regulatory body himself. He is in the Health and Social Care Select Committee. 

Finally, Suzanne the NAS Moderator here has also encouraged me to make a formal complaint. She instructed me to use the links she and forum member Bunny kindly gave me. If an NAS Moderator gets involved I would say it shows that I have a valid complaint for unprofessional behaviour by the psychologist.

Two high level regulatory bodies, an MP who personally advocates for me, and an NAS moderator are all advising me to make a formal complaint and are giving help and support (not someone like you who knows nothing about my case but decides to tell me incorrect information without reading my written information first).

Thus, based on the above factual evidence, I would say my chances for my formal complaint would be very good, especially with an MP backing it.

Up until your inapplicable comments which were written without reading what I actually wrote (addressed above), forum members who have read what I wrote been kind, helpful and supportive of my valid distressing experience of having a "support" psychologist laugh AT me twice while I disclosed confidential traumatic experiences as an autistic person.Your seriously inapplicable comments clearly showed you did not read what I wrote:

• You supported a psychologist who laughed at my traumas, trying to tell me it is a "technique". As a clinical  psychotherapist myself, it is never a psychotherapeutic tool to laugh at traumas described by damaged patients

• You told me I would have a hard time having my complaint taken seriously. It is already being taken seriously by regulatory bodies and an MP (see above). Plus I most certainly do not need advice on how to approach this!

For the two reasons above, please do not write back to me. Reading your ill-informed and inapplicable comments has upset me into an anxiety attack because you supported and tried to justify the psychologist and her laughter AT me and my trauma which brought back the feelings of being bullied as I was in school. I will not read anything you write and I will not reply. This is very stressful for me to have to repeat what I wrote and explain it again. If you are going to give advice, don't. You showed that you did not read vital information but still felt equipped to write to me.

NOTE: Again, please do not write me or put anything in the thread for my post. I will report it to the NAS because I have made it clear your comments were not appropriate for my problem I shared and you supported/made excuses for a psychologist who damaged me, plus I have explicitly asked you not to write to me.

DEAR MODERATOR: Please note my above request for this person not to write to me or into this thread of comments. I am very upset and anxious and I don't feel safe on the forum because of him (please read why, above). Thank you.

KittyMetal said:

In the first session she laughed at me twice: when I described a traumatic childhood issue and when I told her I am distressed about the negative impact that my auditory processing disorder is having on my life.

I think it could be the psychologist was using humour to defuse the trauma you were reliving when telling your account of things. There is a good article explaining the appropriate use of humour in therapy here:

https://clinicaltherapists.org/qa/using-humor-appropriately-and-effectively-in-therapy/

When it comes to using generic tools like this with autists I think many therapists do not realise we do not perceive things in the same way that they expect so if falls like a lead balloon - it does not mean they were necessarily bad therapists but that they assumed commonly used techniques would work for us when it does not always happen.

For these reasons I think you will have a hard time in getting a complaint taken seriously but I thought you would like to have the information to inform yourself so you can frame any arguments accordingly.

I'm sorry it caused you offence - a really good psychologist would know not to assume the tools like this would work until they understand your autism better. 

Hi Suzanne,

Wow, that's great and so helpful. I'll be using these resources to assist me and be more effective with my formal complaint. I really appreciate your help and support

Hi Kittymetal,

I just wanted to also reply to say I am very sorry to hear that this happened to you.  It sounds like this has been incredibly upsetting for you.

I just want to also share NAS - What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough > Health services which Bunny has kindly already shared with you.  This link also has information about advocacy for making complaints and a link to our Autism Services Directory within it which may be useful.

Take Care

Suzanne Mod

Thank you bunny

Hi AlienOn3arth,

Thank you so much for writing and for your personal understanding and support. I'm very sorry you had that awful experience. To say autism is "fashionable" is appalling. She should know it's a difficult disability from childhood throughout all of our lives. I agree, therapists are supposed to help, not do further damage. 

My written complaint is very long but I wanted to describe all the factual details (I used to be a researcher).

Thanks again for taking the time to write, share, advise and support. All the best to you.

You're most welcome!

Thanks for your feedback and support Tamarinda. You're the third person saying it's gaslighting so that's very helpful to me.

Thank you Bunny, that's a huge help for me. Thank you for your time, assistance and support with this problem.

Hi TheCatWoman,

Thank you for your helpful reply and sharing your experience with therapists who need to think about what they ask.

When I wrote the psychologist about her "use of humour" excuse I reminded her that she laughed at my trauma, which is not something humorous. I said she laughed AT me, not with me. Two of the professionals I consulted mentioned gaslighting, as you wrote.

I'm in the process of a formal complaint to professional bodies, like you advised. While figuring out where to go and contacting sites, I went as high as the General Medical Council. She suggested the Health and Care Profession Council for psychologist complaints. She was appalled to hear my experience and got rather upset! My MP has been helpful too in directing this valid complaint.

Thank you for your time, help and support. All the best

I've not had anyone laugh, but I have had counsellors and therapists ask me why some things happened, why others treated me in the way they did, I don't want to go into details, I know some of the things that I grew up with were odd, and often very wrong, but how am I supposed to explain the actions of someone else, when thats part of the reason I'm there.

I think some people use humour inappropriately in the hope that you'll feel better about whats happened or in a very poor attempt to get you to reframe something, often reframing feels like gaslighting and often it is. 

Does this psychologist belong to a professional body who you could complain too? If you saw them as part of the NHS then patient groups and the health trust may be able to provide some redress.

What you suffered from this person is appalling and totally unprofessional and it's unsurprising you feel so upset.