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Struggling with loneliness

To300

I have no friends or connections outside of my immediate family. I'm quite socially isolated. I dont have social media and I don't work or study, most of my days for the past eight years have been me and the dog. I just feel incredibly alone and misunderstood even when social opportunities have arrived in the past. It's probably worth noting I do have social anxiety and depression and im coming to realise ive probably been chronically overwhelmed my entire life because I cant cope with simple everyday things that a normal functioning adult should be able to cope with. Sometimes it just feels like im the only person stuck in this very *** position or rather that other people in the same position cope much better than i am right now. 

  • in reply to Robert124

    I'm sorry you had that awful experience. 

  • in reply to emanningis

    Thank you, I do appreciate it 

  • Loneliness is bad but it's not the worse.  It's preferable to being in a toxic relationship or environment.

    The last twenty years of living in the same house as my father were awful.  He often referred to me in the third person.  Called me the shame of the family,  a useless piece of sh**, spat in my face.  Loneliness is sometimes a relief.

  • in reply to To300

    A psychotherapist can help mediating the relationship between you and the GP (does so for me often). They can, for example, push for CMHT (Community Mental Health Team).

    Finding a good therapist can be hard, but accredited neurodivergence-therapists should be helpful. Psychology Today has a catalogue of therapists.

    It's expensive, but you could try once a month initially. Even that makes a difference.

    ---------------------

    PS: Maybe this is less relevant, but I often feel the need to listen human voices, and I just found this nice online radio selector.

  • in reply to emanningis

    Groups in my area are more geared towards those who have co occurring disabilities. I fear I'm one of those who 'looks too normal' to be taken seriously if im not in crisis. I've had trouble with gp in the past. I am currently on anti depressants and have been for six years. I had a check in with the pharmacist recently and I do have side effects and I told them that and they said something about it wont fix the autism but if you want to try something else come back. Which isnt really any good because for 1 I dont know what else there is and anytime I've tried to ask the doctor for a increase I'm just asked whats happened and nothings happened and then im told to try self help things. I have family who have offered to speak on my behalf to the doctor but it just makes me very uncomfortable and I don't think I can be honest about how bad things are sometimes to family or the gp. That being said i will look at the link provided, thank you. 

  • I have similar issues. And can suggest things I consider:

    1. Are there autism groups in your local area, that you may attend to and feel more comfortable with?

    2. Hanging around in this forum can make me feel less lonely. Maybe you can try that too?

    3. Checking in with the GP to ensure the dose and medication are still appropriate.

    4. Check Community Mental Health Team (CMHT). I'm told they can be helpful. You can be referred to CMHT from a GP or another Mental Health Service area.

  • in reply to Bunny

    Thank you for the links, I will take a look. 

  • I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for us to feel lonely or isolated.

    Alongside continuing to chat with us here (there are plenty of social discussions here, alongside other content), you might find some of the advice in these articles helpful:

    NAS - Loneliness - includes links to other examples of autistic people's experiences of loneliness and how they cope.

    NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

    NAS - Depression - for which I'd suggest seeking support from your GP, if you haven't yet done so.

    NAS - Anxiety - which GPs can also help with.

    You might like to consider asking your GP for a referral to your local social prescriber. Or just ask the GP’s admin team, who might be able to tell you how to self refer. A social prescriber’s (non-medical) role is to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your social, practical, and emotional needs.

    For example, that could include helping you to get support with some of the things that you're struggling with from day to day. And/or also helping you to find local groups or socialising activities, if that’s something you'd like to explore. The service is very much driven by your personal needs and goals, so the social prescriber would start by working with you to learn what those are. 

    The article below explains more (it relates to England, but the same model operates throughout the UK):

    NHS England - Social prescribing

    You might also be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory, or through a local or online NAS branch:

    NAS - Autism Services Directory

    NAS - Branches

    As a final suggestion, you could search online (eg via Google) for any local groups that might fit with your interests and hobbies.

  • Hey To300, sorry to hear you are struggling so badly. It can be a very lonely thing to have severe social anxiety. Finding yourself unable to say anything even when you have the opportunity, avoiding situations even if they might give you the very thing you crave.  But connection with others doesn't have to look the way it does to other people, just reaching out and saying hello is a big thing, here or other places.  Animals are fantastic company but I know it doesn't always scratch that itch.  I don't know the answers, but I get it. Finding some connection in safe small ways might help alleviate it, it's just figuring out what that means to you?