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Autistic burnout

Paul50

Hi everyone

I'm in burnout and I'm fairly sure I've been in it for over a year so far. It seems to intensify and then ease off depending on what I'm doing. I know it gets worse with any kind of stress which also includes getting involved in discussion on social media. Certain topics can get quite emotive especially when I also have injustice sensitivity, so when someone attacks me online I really feel it and if I don't disengage it can wreck my mood for a couple of days.

I'm also a personal trainer and I've not lifted any weights in the gym for a few weeks because the intensity also drains me, so I've been working on mobility mostly and the only lifting I do is when I'm demonstrating exercises for clients. It really is a mindful balancing act and that alone is exhausting too. I used to be so active all the time and I'm sad that I can't do that anymore. 

While reading about autistic burnout online I'm starting to feel that in the same way that all autistic people are different, all burnouts are different too and varying in intensity. I read about some folks who can't find the energy to shower, feed themselves, talk to anyone or do any form of active self care. When it's bad I can be like that, but it's not all the time, and I feel like I'll be invalidated by some if I admit that. In the same way I was told by people in the past "You're not autistic"...(I'm now diagnosed)...I worry that I'll be told "That's not proper burnout!" because I'm still functioning albeit sporadically.

Can anyone relate to this please? 

Also, how do I change my username please? I don't feel that this one represents who I am anymore. Thanks Purple heart

Parents

  • Burnout, to me, can seem like walking along a road after a heavy rain shower. 

    You realise the road surface has become wet, so you take it steady as you walk along as best your energy permits.

    You spot a potential puddle and walk / engage a little more cautiously to avoid getting splashed by muddy water.  That strategy seems to work for a few iterations.

    Wallop.

    You misjudged that particular puddle ...which actually turned out to be a wretched pot-hole ...with muddy water now up to your ankle. 

    You had not anticipated wet shoes and socks for your troubles of just trying to walk along that wet road.

    You are exhausted by the set-back and yet still persistent.

    If you carry on walking - long enough - that warmth of repeated endeavour will gently begin to, at least, to dry out your socks (shoe drying might have to wait until you return home to rest properly).

    Eventually, one determined step in front of the other - your navigation walking along the rain-sodden Burnout Road ensures you reach your objective.

    Oddly, the full details of what it actually took to get you from "A" to "B" along Burnout Road are not always retained.

    Life continues to wend its way and weave's its stories beyond burnout.

    What you can recall; is the recognition that; return from burnout can be achieved - should you be challenged to navigate through it again someday.

    Albeit, the duration and intensity of each burnout episode may vary considerably across life decades and different circumstance.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I love analogies. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

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