The psychologist I have my assessment booked with asked me to fill forms at embrace-autism.com and send her the results in PDF. I did it. But the problem is that it's haunting me, especially questions that were unclear. Or questions I feel I gave wrong answers to or I'm not sure what should I actually answer there. Like for example in empathy test the question "do you feel sad while watching news about war/ catastrophe?" I answered "no". First of all I don't remember, when last time I watched some news, second thing- as I remember long time ago I used to watch some news sometimes and while watching about war, I felt nothing. Only later when I started analysing and processing these tv news I started feeling sad for all those people who suffer and felt angry that there is so much cruelty and injustice in this world. So literally, at the moment of watching news I feel nothing. So I answered "no", but it doesn't mean, that my heart is made of stone and I feel nothing. Another problem is that, although sometimes I feel something deeply, it's hard for me to recognise what it is. And I always come to the conclusion, that I don't help anyone with these feelings. In 2022 the Russian-Ukrainian war started. My step dad was angry, that I sit emotionless while there are terrible news. Next day I sent warm clothes and covers for the refugees also sent some money. Then they laughed, that im crazy to give so much stuff to strangers. But to me this makes more sense that long and emotional discussions about the situation. So I'm kinda afraid that the psychologist would get it wrong. I wrote her only that there are questions that were for me unclear and problematic and I would like to explain during our session. She asked me to do blood test and listed which parameters. Now I think maybe I can also take my old blood tests with me. I will do the new ones of course. The future conversation, the possible conversation goes in circles in my head and anxiety, that it won't happen, or that one of us gets sick fir these dates. I keep repeating parts of this future possible conversation, try to imagine the place, the lady, her face, her voice etc. And it's still 5 montg waiting ahead of me. And repeating it all. Does anyone relate?
