General questions/advice about therapists

In twelve months of trying to get therapy in the nhs, where no one would take me due to being too complex and high risk, I so tried going private. 

I failed here too as there are very very few who truly understand the catastrophic connection between autism and abuse/trauma. One I tried to work with I stopped after just two sessions as she had such concrete walls of boundaries I just couldn’t communicate with her, plus video calls just don’t work for me. One other I nearly started with but appreciating the way she tried ultra hard to be inclusive to the point of exclusion, I appreciated she would not have coped with my dark angry problems which could most definitely be perceived as prejudice. 

For now Ive stopped trying to find help

Regarding the NHS, I got a different answer, with a similar outcome. “The NHS is struggling” was what I heard. I went in with undiagnosed trauma, and came out with undiagnosed trauma I’d have to deal with alone.

About your second attempt with private therapists, I can imagine. Sounds like your mind reaches for the sharpest thing available, regardless of how it sounds to anyone else, and uses that to express pain. Is that correct? If so, you’re absolutely not alone. I think that’s how our minds scream. 

Struggling to find a therapist who understands is relatable. From my experience, it looks like many therapists list “autism” and “trauma” as what they’re knowledgeable on, even if that’s not entirely true. It’s deeply demoralising.

I am taking my own route to squeeze help from the NHS. If it works out, I’ll update you. Maybe you’ll be able to follow the same path. 

Thanks Jermaine, you are very insightful. Lots of psych (iatry and ology) have said in praiseful way that my self awareness is excellent, and it is, I understand why the dreadful things which happened to me happened, but no one has seriously attempted to give me the tools to work on this awareness and understanding towards better mental health. 

Thanks Jermaine, you are very insightful. Lots of psych (iatry and ology) have said in praiseful way that my self awareness is excellent, and it is, I understand why the dreadful things which happened to me happened, but no one has seriously attempted to give me the tools to work on this awareness and understanding towards better mental health. 

To add: my gp is fab and is trying again to secure a psychologist to work with me who truly understands both autism and trauma, she hasn’t yet had any success thoygh