General questions/advice about therapists

In twelve months of trying to get therapy in the nhs, where no one would take me due to being too complex and high risk, I so tried going private. 

I failed here too as there are very very few who truly understand the catastrophic connection between autism and abuse/trauma. One I tried to work with I stopped after just two sessions as she had such concrete walls of boundaries I just couldn’t communicate with her, plus video calls just don’t work for me. One other I nearly started with but appreciating the way she tried ultra hard to be inclusive to the point of exclusion, I appreciated she would not have coped with my dark angry problems which could most definitely be perceived as prejudice. 

For now Ive stopped trying to find help

Regarding the NHS, I got a different answer, with a similar outcome. “The NHS is struggling” was what I heard. I went in with undiagnosed trauma, and came out with undiagnosed trauma I’d have to deal with alone.

About your second attempt with private therapists, I can imagine. Sounds like your mind reaches for the sharpest thing available, regardless of how it sounds to anyone else, and uses that to express pain. Is that correct? If so, you’re absolutely not alone. I think that’s how our minds scream. 

Struggling to find a therapist who understands is relatable. From my experience, it looks like many therapists list “autism” and “trauma” as what they’re knowledgeable on, even if that’s not entirely true. It’s deeply demoralising.

I am taking my own route to squeeze help from the NHS. If it works out, I’ll update you. Maybe you’ll be able to follow the same path. 

It’s interesting reading these and seeing that people seem to have had a better experience with Private therapists than they have with the NHS. That’s concerning. My son has had a lot of CBT with the NHS at different times over a few years (in one case about a year of continuous weekly sessions) and it doesn’t seemed to have helped him at all. He has autism, selective mutism and OCD and they always focus on the ocd and hardly ever deal with his selective mutism and social anxiety. But they never seem to achieve any improvement for him. I am autistic (and possibly adhd - but no diagnosis of adhd) and I had PTSD after a severe illness - and I had NHS therapy for the PTSD and that was a really good experience that hugely helped me. Some time after I searched her online to see if she could help my son because she was so good - but she had left the NHS. Maybe really good therapists are prepared to work for the NHS the way it is at the moment? 

The NHS is good for getting diverse experience and helping your career to get going. It gives some credibility. But if you become good you move up and then support others, take on harder or more difficult cases, or do research. The person I saw initially works with people in secure detention, the other is involved with research I think, she had hundreds of books too.

Private work allows you to control your hours, perhaps make more money, but is isolating and I suspect could become samey or focussed on the worried well. So I think some mix roles and are part time in the NHS. I think the 'routine' work is probably left to more junior people.

The NHS is good for getting diverse experience and helping your career to get going. It gives some credibility. But if you become good you move up and then support others, take on harder or more difficult cases, or do research. The person I saw initially works with people in secure detention, the other is involved with research I think, she had hundreds of books too.

Private work allows you to control your hours, perhaps make more money, but is isolating and I suspect could become samey or focussed on the worried well. So I think some mix roles and are part time in the NHS. I think the 'routine' work is probably left to more junior people.