work

not looking forward to work tomorrow for couple of reasons

1. had one of my personal development plan meetings on Friday and something wasn't included that I had sent in an email before it. - I was too scared to tell them in the meeting. I don't know whether I should email them about it or leave it till the meeting on Friday, or not bother raising it at all. 

2. I feel they are watching me more than others because I'm on the personal development plan and that creates anxiety in me

3. I have been on the same tasks for months, as they won't let me do any other tasks until I get off the personal development plan - I can do the tasks and have proven I can I want to learn more and have told them, but it's the same answer 'not until you're off the personal development plan'

4. I'm tired of trying to fit in and be the 'perfect employee' they want me to be - yes they know I've got autism and have put adjustments in place but I feel pressure to be the 'perfect' employee for them even though adjustments have been put in place and they know I'm autistic

Just to clarify I don't find the environment toxic or anything, but I find my supervisor and myself have become more distant from each other and I don't feel I can fully tell her things (I would happily speak to the manager, however they both need to be present at meetings etc)

sorry for ranting etc.

Parents
  • I feel they are watching me more than others because I'm on the personal development plan

    Speaking as someone who has been on both sides of the management / employee discipline system I strongly expect that you have been put on the PIP so they can find a reason to get rid of you.

    This happens a lot with autists for a range of reasons, but the fact that a PIP was suggested means to me that they need a way to have you closely monitored so that the slightest failure is now legitimate grounds to dismiss you.

    I have been ordered to put staff in this position before because the upper management took a dislike to the person or they upset an influential empoyee who then complained and they need to be seen to take action.

    It is only likely to increase your anxiety by thinking too much about it so I would focus on delivering the results they ask for and just do the job. If there are things which are not clear then communicate these clearly in writing to your manager - keep everything in email form and keep copies of it all as there is a chance the management will mess up and give you a great chance for an unfair dismissal case.

    If I were in your shoes I would consider the job lost and focus on finding a news one in my spare time and make sure all the emails about my situation are copied to my personal email account ourside of work so I can access them if I was terminated.

    I find my supervisor and myself have become more distant from each other and I don't feel I can fully tell her things

    It is healthy to always keep some distance with those managing you  as they often have to follow orders that they may not like (eg placing you on a PIP) and this will create a conflict of interest for them. By all means be pleasant and sociable but don't consider them as a friend in the same way you would a colleague.

    This is just my experience and opinion.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope you find a good outcome.

Reply
  • I feel they are watching me more than others because I'm on the personal development plan

    Speaking as someone who has been on both sides of the management / employee discipline system I strongly expect that you have been put on the PIP so they can find a reason to get rid of you.

    This happens a lot with autists for a range of reasons, but the fact that a PIP was suggested means to me that they need a way to have you closely monitored so that the slightest failure is now legitimate grounds to dismiss you.

    I have been ordered to put staff in this position before because the upper management took a dislike to the person or they upset an influential empoyee who then complained and they need to be seen to take action.

    It is only likely to increase your anxiety by thinking too much about it so I would focus on delivering the results they ask for and just do the job. If there are things which are not clear then communicate these clearly in writing to your manager - keep everything in email form and keep copies of it all as there is a chance the management will mess up and give you a great chance for an unfair dismissal case.

    If I were in your shoes I would consider the job lost and focus on finding a news one in my spare time and make sure all the emails about my situation are copied to my personal email account ourside of work so I can access them if I was terminated.

    I find my supervisor and myself have become more distant from each other and I don't feel I can fully tell her things

    It is healthy to always keep some distance with those managing you  as they often have to follow orders that they may not like (eg placing you on a PIP) and this will create a conflict of interest for them. By all means be pleasant and sociable but don't consider them as a friend in the same way you would a colleague.

    This is just my experience and opinion.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope you find a good outcome.

Children
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