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work

pinkchocoholic

not looking forward to work tomorrow for couple of reasons

1. had one of my personal development plan meetings on Friday and something wasn't included that I had sent in an email before it. - I was too scared to tell them in the meeting. I don't know whether I should email them about it or leave it till the meeting on Friday, or not bother raising it at all. 

2. I feel they are watching me more than others because I'm on the personal development plan and that creates anxiety in me

3. I have been on the same tasks for months, as they won't let me do any other tasks until I get off the personal development plan - I can do the tasks and have proven I can I want to learn more and have told them, but it's the same answer 'not until you're off the personal development plan'

4. I'm tired of trying to fit in and be the 'perfect employee' they want me to be - yes they know I've got autism and have put adjustments in place but I feel pressure to be the 'perfect' employee for them even though adjustments have been put in place and they know I'm autistic

Just to clarify I don't find the environment toxic or anything, but I find my supervisor and myself have become more distant from each other and I don't feel I can fully tell her things (I would happily speak to the manager, however they both need to be present at meetings etc)

sorry for ranting etc.

Parents

  • Hey, sometimes ranting is all we can do. It's hard when work is difficult, like BeaE said, it's not like it's avoidable.

    When work is fulfilling (in any way) it can really help you with all the other aspects of working -your personal development plan sounds like it has you rather stuck to it though, so it doesn't help at all with feeling good about yourself. I hate feeling over watched, so really feel for you there, and as you said it makes you feel hyper cautious and needing to be perfect which is draining. I hope things can start easing up for you soon, and you can settle better!

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  • Hey, sometimes ranting is all we can do. It's hard when work is difficult, like BeaE said, it's not like it's avoidable.

    When work is fulfilling (in any way) it can really help you with all the other aspects of working -your personal development plan sounds like it has you rather stuck to it though, so it doesn't help at all with feeling good about yourself. I hate feeling over watched, so really feel for you there, and as you said it makes you feel hyper cautious and needing to be perfect which is draining. I hope things can start easing up for you soon, and you can settle better!

Children
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