I think my autism made it difficult to cope with and manage a failed relationship 20 years ago although not diagnosed until recently. With children involved I struggled with emotions, comings and goings etc then with managing my old situation and my new situation etc. The preceding couple of years of things going wrong had also taken their toll. Any problems which arose I couldnt cope with. I didnt know what the expected or acceptable behaviour was which seemed different for different parties etc. My youngest has taken on the guilt himself. Whilst things were bad for him too. He does have PTSD. I suspect I may possibly do for different reasons including those times. I don't know how we make something good that can outshine those dark memories for them, and all the years that we have probably craved the norm that seems to have eluded us especially with the physical miles between us. They dont know of the diagnosis and I havent yet explored PTSD myself or whether it had any influence or should be addressed or left.