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I may be losing my job due to raising a grievance for bullying and discrimination.

Taken2Heart

Hello, 

I'm new here and awaiting my second assessment. I am currently off for work related stress now for nearly 3 months. I have had to build a grievance against my line manager for bullying, disability discrimination and harassment.

At the moment the stress is so high that i no longer eat properly (I have to put reminders on my phone) and I'm medicated to help control the physical symptoms of anxiety and stress.

The problem is I think my rep (unison) aren't aligned with me and doesn't see the significance of my occ health report which says I'm not well enough to return until the fix the reporting line. He believes that I want retribution rather than a solution to the workplace problem. I am not safe to return under my line manager and they have tried every tactic and delay to keep me off sick. I have launched a subject access request which they are legally in breach with the law for not giving me everything I've asked for. 

Basically the problem is I overshare and talk in circles and I bring everything I've lived through these few years into my conversation with him and with HR. Because I'm re-living it over and over. The presumption is in either lying about my health or I'm lying it's taken its toll on me. It feels like a waking nightmare that I'm not believed and it's really hard to express how it affects me or it's really easy to by being blunt with it but it comes across like I'm listing things and therefore I'm lying. 

I have depression and my anxiety is made so bad that I've lost friends,a partner and my own self in all of this. The worst of the bullying happened while my dad's health declined (dementia) and death in 2023. I feel like since his death the proverbial mask has slipped and I'm just a mess. I can't seem to find my old sense of self and strength anymore that since then work mates and family have mentioned I must be on the spectrum (I've fought my family over this long ago before this job). It's like everyone has come to the conclusion I'm autistic that in a way validates the treatment I went through. Which causes more pain and trauma. 

I'm in therapy but it's talking therapy (been with him for over a year now) and instead of pointers or advice I'm left to talk it out with no real solution or end. 

I guess what I'm saying is - I'm alone now. I live alone and have no one who understands the real psychological and physical toll of feeling like no one really understands the mental cage of your own issues with unresolved conflict, of feeling radioactive and made the 'problem' at work. Especially when my own rep doesn't understand the law and I'm literally reading up on it and know my rights and my protections and it doesn't seem to get through that work is not only breaking the law but they are pushing me to leave and to the brink of another meltdown. 

Sorry for the rant. But I have only myself to go through this and hope someone in this community can on a level understand what I'm going through. 

And I can't quit. I've gone too far now to just leave without at least some kind of resolution (and I have cats and a mortgage to pay!)

  • Hello

    I feel your pain. Until you go through something like this it is difficult to comprehend. Mine is a similar situation and is now well down the track towards an employment tribunal. It is not easy surviving this with uncertainty being the autists nightmare.

    My employer has treated my like dirt. My union tries but cannot do anything because my employer chooses to ride roughshod over their responsibilities under the EA.

    Basically you are on your own. Without knowing what your issues are with your employer it is difficult to comment but your story is an all to familiar tale for an autistic employee. Stereotypical views, unconscious bias and deliberate discrimination usually means trouble ahead. The EA is not as black and white, right and wrong as it seems that there is a lot of grey areas which can be open to interpretation legally.

    I would not rely on your union to fight your case as their legal departments only really take slam dunk cases that do not involve technical cases. Going it your own way can be costly.

    you say you are waiting on your second assessment, for what may I ask?

    Remember to get everything documented, even if it just an email to yourself to record contemporaneous notes, use occupational health to back up your case. Remember that occupational health advice can be ignored (as in my case) but if it goes to tribunal claim then the decision to ignore that advice will have to be rigorously justified and tribunals take note of things like this (can be in your favour).